


If La Douleur Exquise was a Sonnet

by ZilpaEden



Category: Ben 10 Series
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Childhood Sweethearts, Childhood Trauma, Cousin Incest, Cousins, F/M, Forbidden Love, Past Relationship(s), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Red Herrings, References to Shakespeare, Shakespeare Quotations, Shakespearean Sonnets, Sorry Not Sorry, kissing cousins, love square, matchmaker
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2019-10-01 20:00:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 38,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17250455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZilpaEden/pseuds/ZilpaEden
Summary: Ben Tennyson, had long since sworn of violence but when he's called behind the school to speak with the town's well known ex-convict Kevin Levin, he's fearful he will have to renounce the vow against no violence. However, more shockingly he actually desires Ben's aid in winning the heart of his cousin, Gwen Tennyson. Will this be a match made in heaven? Or a Shakespeare tragedy?





	1. Chapter 1: “When I saw you, I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, another story? Oh no! What about the last... few...? Well I started this one some time during the summer and made the decision to force myself to put on my big-girl pants and finish it! So yes! This fanfiction is technically finished, however, it still needs to be edited so I'm going to edit it as I post each chapter. :) Anything worth note I will state at the end. Love ya!
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN BEN 10! OR ALL THE REFERENCES I MAKE.
> 
> I use themes from these works so slight spoilers: Ben 10(OG), Ben 10: Alien Force, Ben 10: Ultimate Alien, Ben 10 Comics(Yes they exist! And are cute, check 'em out.) Shakesphere! Lots and lots of it!

The civil, yet str

The civil, yet straightforward message of ‘You, me, behind the main building after school. _Or Else_.’ Was inscribed on a crumpled up piece of notebook paper, that seemingly was torn harshly from its binding. Obviously, describing this message as _civil yet straightforward_ was a complete and total lie as this wasn’t a pleasant invitation from a friend. No. This was a note from Kevin Levin. Which in case you lived in Bellwood, there was absolutely no way you hadn’t at some point come to hear this man’s name, or more probable, read it in the town’s quotidian newspaper..

Rumor has it he played part in the Bellwood bridge catastrophe of ’08, a devastating scheme that left not only the bridge in ruin, but many other’s lives in it as well. However, all theories have yet to be confirmed by any officials; The only thing made certain to the public was that Kevin was to be held back a year to serve time in _Juvie_. Furthermore, given his suspicious and upsetting history no one at school dared to cast him a look that might rub him the wrong way, all students—and even faculty—in fear of what would be done to them granted they crossed that line.

And it wasn’t as though Kevin predominantly went out of his way to prove the assumptions otherwise to anyone. Whereas he didn’t open his mouth often, whenever he did it was generally to brusquely answer a question in class, or make a passive aggressive threat at someone—For example, the ingenuously worded ‘or else’ in the letter a certain, unsuspecting boy received by the name of Benjamin Tennyson(But he preferred to be called Ben.).

“Kevin?” Ben spoke quietly as he made his way to the destination detailed in the note. His shadow cast past himself as the sun began to set behind him, providing a marigold hue to the sky. Ben wasn’t the sort to pick a fight, in fact he believed himself to be far past his days of picking fights with bullies, and had assumed others had shared his view; He put in the effort to enlist a more outgoing, and welcoming persona, nothing that would warrant a fight—Especially since he at one point swore off violence to better aid his ambition to shape his persona. If hypothetically said law offender were to engage him in hand-to-hand combat, Ben wasn’t too quick to compromise the vow he had taken.

Kevin was a tall, hefty body-builder with monstrous tattoos engraved across his body(One’s he would often show off, likely to piss off the teachers with dress coding). His onyx eyes never seemed to be without black circles below them, or scratches across his high cheek bones. Ben was on the shorter side of the spectrum, even having a difficult time gaining an inch on his cousin who was only 5’5”. Whereas he possessed certain masculine attributes such as a lean body, toned from all his athletic endeavors; He was still smaller, with a baby-face(as his friends so delicately put it), and had the tendency to land himself in uncomfortable positions. This being one of them.

“Tennyson, you came. Good.” Kevin’s words were either a passive caution, or a optimistic observation—Either of which Ben could not infer with cert. In addition, the elder student loomed above him behind a building Ben was certain surely no one would hear his cries for help—Such a realization weighted heavily on Ben’s mind. It wasn’t as though the boy had no ability to protect himself, still with him having sworn off violence the probable likelihood of him having to take a numerable, cumbersome blows was a little higher than he would have been comfortable with.

“Yes, yes I did. Care to tell me to what I owe the pleasure?” Ben attempted to put it lightly, depriving his voice of the impatience he covertly felt. The sooner he made amends with the young man for whatever offence he had unintentionally committed, the better.

Kevin was hushed as he peered out into school yard where other students preferred to intersect nearing the school day’s end(If Ben wasn’t speaking to Kevin as he was, he would have been there as well himself). “I’m about to ask you a very serious question. One you’ll have to take with as much severity as you measly brain can muster.”

Ben fought to keep his feverous pride at bay, only with the reminder that he swore off violence did he draw the strength to hold back a witty remark. “Okay, sure… what is it?”

Met by a second dose of silence that dragged on for so long Ben was prepared to request permission to leave; But then, just as he opened his mouth to act out said task, the nine-teen-year-old spoke at long last. “Is your cousin Gwen seeing anyone?” These meek six words took a great deal of time for Ben’s quote: measly brain, to comprehend.

“… I’m sorry but did you just ask if Gwen, _my_ _cousin_ , is **single**???” Ben questioned a little too loudly, earning a cautioning glare from his elder whom, apparently did not want such a statement known to his academic peers.

“And??” Kevin beckoned crudely, his onyx eyes narrowed with his thick black brows pointed upward, virtually challenging Ben. Nonetheless, Ben was far too dumbfounded to even begin to consider the implications of the raven haired man’s inquiry. It was only his fits of laughter that succeeded to escape his mouth.

“My cousin?? Who’d ever want to date her??? YOU????” Ben’s laughter continued(Seemingly endlessly), merely seeming to agitate said interested bachelor. “You can’t be serious! The only times I’ve ever seen that girl(If you can even call her that) interested in someone was with Albert Einstein, and Charles Darwin!!”

Kevin didn’t give the impression of finding Ben’s humor quite as comical as he did, “Are you trying to say she’s only interested in smart-asses??” Kevin demanded.

“Nah, she was like ten or whatever then. I’m sure her tastes have matured. She’s probably into like one of those hallmark movie sensitive guys all the girls lose their heads over.” Ben stated a like more seriously after wiping a tear from his emerald green eyes.

“… Alright… Ask her then.” This came across more as a command than the inquiring of a favor to Ben. In truth this was far from the first time someone had gone to the boy in hopes of using him as a middle man, whether it was his baseball or soccer teammates, even all the way back to freshmen year Ben had become all too used to the attention he warranted from having an attractive cousin. However, with every attempt at swaying her heart in the helpless boy’s direction, she without hesitation would shoot them down; The excuses would vary, but were all always along the lines of either, ‘I have my education to consider, not the complexities of a relationship!’ or, ‘I want to get into a college, not into any boys pants!’—The last one was a humorous summary Ben had concocted(If Gwen ever found out he summarized her words like that, he’d be in the market for a new head…).

But if she shot down Kevin Levin… Ben didn’t want to think of the consequences that decision would pose to her physical wellbeing. “… And what if she refuses?” Ben asked nearly soundlessly, parts of animosity leaking into his words.

Kevin appeared to pick up on the fumes as he puffed out his chest after straightening his own posture, “… Then I will accept her decision.” His words were quick, as though he didn’t want to say them… that or didn’t want to believe them. Moreover, it hardly achieved to diminish the boy’s worrying to any extent at all.

               Whereas his record was far from clean, Ben could see actual sincerity on the older man’s face—Despite how much he attempted to hide it. The possibility Kevin was truly, and sincerely in love with his cousin was certainly baffling… but not impossible… “Why do you like her so much anyway?” Ben tried.

Kevin took a deep breath, once again gazing off toward the field. And when following mentioned gaze, it landed on the women in question. Completely unaware of the one watching her, she waited patiently for her companion(Ben) to walk home with her as they did routinely to study. His breath hitched, “I’m not a good guy, Tennyson… I know that… but when I’m with her, she doesn’t make me feel so bad about that anymore…” Kevin’s voice was delicate, and considerate as though he had truthfully given each syllable careful thought. Enough thought to sway the young Tennyson boy.

 _In the end… if she’s happy, then it didn’t matter who was with…_ “Fine. I’ll ask her for you. But you’ve got to promise me something.” Kevin gave Ben a patience look, awaiting his conditions, furthermore Ben concluded. “If she turns you down… you _can’t_ pressure her into dating you… You’ve GOT to accept her decision, like it or not.”

To Ben’s astonishment Kevin didn’t vacillate in the slightest, “I swear.”

What’s more Ben was at a loss for words(And that was saying something), never had it occurred to him he would be put into the position of matchmaker for the town’s most infamous delinquent… And yet here he was. After exchanging contacts as to stay updated on the progress(Ben was convinced Kevin wanted to make sure he didn’t forget to ask Gwen), Ben took his leave—Having been given plenty to stew on while he made his way over to Gwen, all the while unaware of how relieved he had left Kevin feeling.

 

* * *

“There are four types of tissues, Epithelial, Nervous, Muscular, and… Ben… are you even listening???” Gwen’s shrill voice pierced through Ben’s focus(Or lack thereof), snapping him back into reality. He blinked unwisely at her before grinning rather sheepishly in her direction.

“I’m sorry, what did you say again? I wasn’t listening.” The teen’s scarcely thought out reply earned a glare as well as a light punch on the shoulder from his cousin of the fairer sex. “Owww!” Ben mock whined, clutching his shoulder as though it ached; Gwen was beyond the point of familiar with such behavior, however, and didn’t even grace him with a concerned look.

“Benjamin Kirby Tennyson, do you want to fail on tomorrow’s Science Exam??” The girl demanded, purposefully obscuring Ben’s view of the Tv(One he insisted on for the sake of background noise). Once again her perfectly shaped brows were knit together above her thinly lined emerald eyes— ones of the same hue of his own. While on most occasions Gwen refused to leave the house unless every single ginger strand of her hair was perfectly styled into place, her hair presently cascaded down her shoulders carelessly and around her rosy face, the only thing withholding them from falling into her eyes was the lone blue clip holding strands back in place. Along with the scarce traces of lip gloss and mascara applied to her face—It boggled Ben’s mind that she even applied the products when she clearly didn’t require them to be attractive. It seemed rather bothersome—she seemed pitch perfect, but having known Gwen for as long as he did, Ben knew this was less than perfect for her.

“Not particularly, Gwendolyn May Tennyson.” Hearing her full name spoken made her cringe, something Ben accounted for prior to saying, but then again it he deemed it only fair as she held his name above him as a way to sound more mature(something he found debatable). “Trust me, I got AP in the bag! There’s nothing Mr. Kelly can throw at me that I won’t be able to hit the nail on!” Ben’s quite obvious empty gloats didn’t land well on his all too knowing companion.

“The same way you hit the nail on Mr. Casey’s math test—I mean I don’t remember when 76% qualified as _hitting the nail_ , but you know what, I’ll take your word on it.” Gwen mused back in the same way one’s parents would in their typical demeaning manor; If Gwen was not practically sitting onto him, coupled with the stack of text books on his lap, Ben would have stood up to regain his sense of self status(His pride truly was a sensitive part of him). Instead he had to make due with arguing at eye level as the weight of books as well as hi opponent continued to quite literally weight him down.

“I passed didn’t I? What more do you want??” Ben snapped, his irritation finally registering in Gwen’s mind. A wave of sympathy passed over her as her stance altered in reaction to his, taking on one more tender and welcoming. She lightly placed an arm on his shoulder, smiling understandingly at him,

“Hey, what’s going on? You’re touchier than usual..” She inquired gently of him, closing the Anatomy textbook to signal a pause in their studies. “What’s on your mind?”

Ben glanced at her within his peripheral vision, not turning to look at her. “What about you? A less than perfect Gwen is hardly usual.” Ben replied effortlessly, his response urging Gwen to take the offense. Nevertheless Gwen had a pride to rival his own, notwithstanding her inclination to more outwardly take the humble side of the spectrum.

She stifled laughter, “Perfect? I’ll take that as a compliment, I guess, as backhanded as it is.” She once again struggled to brush back her disobedient hair, “Let’s just say I had less than ideal attention directed at me today; It proved to be grading on my patience.”

Ben rose a brow, outwardly curious, while inwardly panicking—He had planned to lay the question he knew Kevin would pester him into asking her until his ears bleed, but if she already dealt with _less than ideal attention_ that day, landing a big, stinky pile of Kevin on her would hardly make the offer appealing. “How so?” Despite himself his voice was higher than most other times, he had panic to blame for that.

Gwen huffed out a sigh that perfectly expressed how frustrated the whole ordeal made her, without even mouthing a single word. “You know that one kid in our class, Peterson? As it turns out he’s got some sort of sorcery fetish and wouldn’t stop spamming my school email with requests for magical related favors! Sure I do tarot cards every now and then, but not sexual favors! What do I look like, a slut? I deserve respect!” She growled, displaying the more ferocious side she hid from all her academic peers; Truly only family members had the joy of seeing the valedictorian’s true _spunky_ nature.

However any amusement Ben had for seeing Gwen’s feathers ruffled drained away from him like water through his fingers, “Report him to the faculty.” Ben urged, suppressing the wave of overprotectiveness surmounting him. But his freckle-faced cousin only shrugged, “Not only is that sexual harassment, he’s also breeching the school’s rule against secular use of school emails.” He could only hope a logical point would win her over, she was one to complain and moan of her problems, but never confront anyone of them… she preferred to never acknowledge them if at all possible at all times.

“Ugh, but then it’d get all messy. I’ll just block him…” She said nonchalantly while brushing more strands of defiant hair behind her ears. “Maybe I should just tell people I’m gay or ace, maybe then they’d leave me alone.”

“Don’t do that, it’ll eventually get out you’re a hopeless hetero romantic at heart.” To spite her Ben ruffled her hair to undo all her previous exertions in taming her fiery hair. Even a harsh puff from her mouth didn’t possessive the strength to push the tresses from her visual scope; Regardless of her disarray, she remained indescribably beautiful.

“… I’ll think about it.” Her jade eyes remained on him, “Your turn. What’s up, doofus?” Under most circumstances being addressed by such a term was belittling, but for the two of them such phrases were of an aged rivalry, neither minded the name calling as they mutually agreed without words it was an inside joke between cousins—A term for endearment if it were. The distaste Ben displayed was quite clearly not for that reason, so the worry she saw confused Gwen to no end. “Uh… Hello? Earth to Ben?”

All Ben’s fears regarding Kevin being brought up to Gwen had only been solidified by their prior conversation. Coupled with the fact Kevin might actually start an skirmish with Ben was a worrisome prospect for him to consider. “Say Gwen…” Both of her brows raised at the pitch of his panicked voice. “You’ve met Kevin Levin haven’t you?”

“Sure I have, just last week I think, I was assigned to writing a paper with him in humanities.” Gwen recalled, a suspicious glint gleaming in the back of her eyes—Ben knew she suspected him, but he hoped she didn’t know what of. Yet.

“Did you get along well with him?” He tried to say it as quickly as he could without it coming across as rushed. He wanted to say all he could without his panicked voice catching up with his words.

“I guess? How well can you get along when discussing Paradise Lost? We wrote a paper, every now and then he’d pipe in to suggest we touch up on something, but it was mostly just writing on a docx in silence.” Gwen explained simply, giving Ben the mental image of Gwen working peacefully, oblivious to Kevin staring at her; How else could he have instantly fallen in love with her?? The whole situation unnerved Ben; Despite in the back of his mind he knew he held no right to shield her from the men of the world(Suddenly he believed his mom when she said all men were wolves).

“Oh? How nice? Wouldyouwanttohangoutwiththatguyoutsideofschoolmaybe?” All hopes of maintaining the facade of innocence, was lost by Ben’s inability to do the one thing he sought out to do… And he knew it, because Gwen had resorted to shooting him **that** look. The ‘ _I-know-what-you’re-doing-Benjamin-Kirby-Tennyson-how-dare-you-think-I’m-so-oblivous-so-you-better-say-it-straight-before-I-rip-your-head-from-your-shoulders-because-you-tried-to-once-again-play-me-off-to-one-of-your-friends_.’. Sure it was complicated, but as mentioned previously, this was not the first time he was asked to play matchmaker for Gwen. “… Kevin has a thing for you.” Ben finally gave in.

“I beg your pardon?” Gwen gapped, clearly just as shocked as he was when Kevin initially brought the subject up with him. Ben whipped his hands up in surrender to her,

“Don’t kill me! He ASKED me to ASK you, okay?? He even swore he wouldn’t force you to date him.” Ben as he argued these points still had yet to wrap his mind around what he was doing.

“Ben, you know I’m not interested in dating anyone right now.” Just as Ben foresaw her saying, the woman’s words were spoken and he could finally release the breath he didn’t realize he was holding—And refused to notice he was. “What’s even the point in asking me when you already know this??” She questioned, her face contorted into one of confusion.

The chestnut-haired boy covered his face with his hands, “I dunno…” He mumbled into his palms, “He said _when he saw you, he fell in love, and you smiled because you knew_.” Ben tried to express coherently, while also berating himself for falling back onto his crutch of an old habit when speaking to her, “I guess he got me to believe he could make you happy, at least…” His hands dropped low enough to catch a glimpse of the burgundy colored book laid on her bed’s side table; The word ‘Shake Sphere’s Sonnets’ written in silver gleaming beneath the sunset’s rays. “Happier than _he_ ever could…”

Gwen didn’t need an explanation to know what Ben spoke of, not when a glance alone spoke louder than a thousand words ever could dream to; He never could bring _‘him’_ up without the vaguest crimson lining his eyes. Nor ever bring himself to utter the correct name, let alone pronoun. If she hadn’t cried every last tear she was willing to shed, she surely would’ve broke down under the sheer mention—But she wasn’t 10 anymore, she was 17(Quite nearly technically an adult!). “… I don’t think anyone could have…” Gwen mused after leaning away and towards the bed-side table in order to pick up the beloved novel. The yellow pages passing through her fingers as she admired the lovely sonnets of a man whom truly understood love. “Shakespeare isn’t exactly easy to recite…” She stifled a laugh.

Ben joined into her laughter after a given moment of denial, “I thought Darwin and Einstein were your thing???”

Gwen blushed in embarrassment, she had truly hoped Ben had long since forgotten she ever mentioned it to him—and even regretted it. “I mean, they were! But I didn’t know about the things I disagree with them now back then!” Embarrassed induced panic caused Gwen to wave her hands frantically as she spoke.

“Yeah! I so disagreed with Einstein’s theory of Relativity and Darwin’s Evolutionary claims too!” Ben sneered, despite full well knowing better. “I’ve always thought science was subjective as well!!”

Gwen punched him in the arm, once again playfully, “I’d tell you to stop being a smartass if it weren’t for the fact you’re hardly ever the ‘smart’ part.” The two could only grin with laughter refusing to subside. However, as soon as they had their blissful fun of non-stop mirth, they fell into silence; Without words to say. Ben wanted to, probably to confirm whether or not Gwen intended to date the school’s criminal, but in essence it seemed all too bothersome—A part of Ben wished he had just ignored Kevin’s supposed invitation. Ben was a simple boy, he finally convinced himself to be content with the most simple of things, and to be content with the way his life was. Sure, he wouldn’t mind winning a few more baseball or soccer games, and the prospect of a girlfriend was ridiculously tempting, but he had come to terms with what came of his life to that point. It was a Jenga tower that the slightest pull could crumble. He didn’t especially want Kevin to poke his nose into it and have him cater to his desires, most certainly not if it required him to serve up his cousin to him on a silver platter… but then again, her love-life was none of her business, so it wasn’t up to the boy to dictate what should and shouldn’t stay the same simply for the sake of _keeping things so-so_.

Just laying on a soft bed, in complete uninterrupted silence, without the slightest thing to bother him was all he needed. He took a deep breath, the subtle fragrance of sweet strawberries wafting through his nostrils. “So… Yah or Nah?” He was willing to acknowledge he put that question dumbly, but the subject alone was awkward enough for Ben to argue it was justifiable.

Gwen sighed beside him, her slender fingers clawing into her baby blue bedsheets. “I don’t know… Mum won’t stop pestering me about my love-life. As though being single was some kind of bad omen for a girl my age…” She rolled over to look at Ben, the two of them comfortably rested on her bed with the reminders of the next day’s test long forgotten as they merely exchanged thoughts by way of subtle gazes. “But sometimes I can’t help but think she’s right… and maybe I’m being too picky.”

“I don’t think it’s picky to not want to date someone unless you like them, if you did that you’d be way more likely to break up with the guy.” Ben stated, formerly reasoning, “And what’s the point in that, right?”

“Good point,” Gwen complimented, raising her hand for a high five. “… I can give friendship a try though.” Their high five sent a clap to echo through the quiet room. Ben’s inquiring look probed her to continue, “I have a lot of friendship, Ben, but I don’t have any best friends.” She mumbled these words shyly, seemingly embarrassed.

 _What about me?_ Ben didn’t say, despite wishing to, instead he mumbled a, “… Guess not.” He gave her a smile, “Maybe Kevin can be a good friend for you.” He found himself far more comfortable with that action taking place.

Gwen sat up, her fierce emerald eyes on the mirror across the room. Standing, she strolled over to it before beginning to tame her hair with a stay hairbrush. “Who knows, but it might be time I stopped spending all my time on extracurricular activities without anyone to even possibly call a friend who remotely lives near me; Except my dopey cousin.” The dopey line earned a laugh from Ben, “Like, rebellious junk!” She proclaimed after she turned to reveal her hair pulled back in a ponytail; Gwen never put up her hair.

“Ohhh, yeah totally, you should start painting your nails black too, and don’t even think about holding back on the eyeliner, girlfriend.” Ben playfully, giving a overly flamboyant tone to his voice. It was made worth it when Gwen laughed,

“Yasssss, let’s only shop at Hot-Topic in our skin tight jeans with the factory made tares!” Gwen said as she flicked the CD-Player on(Ben still couldn’t talk her into using online music and Bluetooth, she was a stubborn old person in a teenager’s body), Shag Carpeting’s most intense of melodies resounding through her mustard yellow painted walls.

“It’s not a phase mom!” Ben bemoaned mockingly,

“You just don’t understand me! No one does!!” Gwen added cheekily,

“Said every emo kid in union.” Ben mused with a snicker.

“Oh, but Benjamin, that’s what makes them so adorable.” She bemused, tugging at Ben’s cheeks till they turned a musing shade of scarlet. “And so incredibly mockable.”

“If half the people saw the you I did, no one would ever harass you.” Ben’s statement, he knew Gwen wouldn’t struggle to distinguish the meaning between; She signified as much with her devilish grin.

“One would be a fool not to fear and love this witch.” Gwen stated quite a matter-of factly, standing tall, with an air of confidence mixed with her wonderful, lavender perfume.

“I don’t know if you were attempting to give off the Sabrina the teenage witch vibe, or not. But you kinda just quoted Galadriel(Lord of The Rings).” Ben corrected smartly, and rather pompously. Despite him confident in his statement, Gwen continued to sneer at him, her fingers tracing the binding of her burgundy novel.

“ _All shall love me and despair_. Is what you meant.” A single eyebrow of hers raised, “Maybe next time, Doofus.” Gifted with another fit of giggles from the ginger, Ben took a long sigh—seeming to release a breath he hadn’t realized was hitched in his throat. The question Kevin posed for Ben to ask had yet to pose any significant consequences, Ben truly didn’t mind seeing Gwen getting fierce and wild every now and then… But he wondered how Kevin would react and whether he’d stay true to his word, but most of all if things would become violent; Quite frankly Kevin had still yet to prove himself to Ben. The internal conflict of wanting the best for Gwen, and not wanting to force his own anxieties into the situation…

Ben began to ponder if he was really prideful, or just _selfish_ …


	2. Chapter 2: “Love all, trust few, do wrong to none.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, look who's back, that's right, it's your gurl Zilpa. I'm tired, I know I sound crazy(I'm a fangirl, what do you expect, really?) I got another chapter as promised, so I hope you enjoy the heck out of it. Because I liked writing it... it was originally going to be only 4k words, that was my goal... but then, my sugar rush kicked in... I swear, I am scary on sugar. So now you got a 8k chapter. I might know how long the other chapter are, but don't expect 4k or 8k, I'd rather you just take whatever you're given. I promise I'll only put as many or as little words are required to communicate the main theme of the fic. Thank you, and enjoy.
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN BEN 10! OR ALL THE REFERENCES I MAKE.
> 
> I use themes from these works so slight spoilers: Ben 10(OG), Ben 10: Alien Force, Ben 10: Ultimate Alien, Ben 10 Comics(Yes they exist! And are cute, check 'em out.) Shakesphere! Lots and lots of it!

Kevin couldn't sit still, he couldn't even go without a moment of not bouncing his leg to the exasperation of his classmates—But then the man never gave their distaste for him any thought, he had nothing to prove to them. He didn't require the positive reputation so many others did, despite not particularly minding if someone thought highly of him… if a certain girl thought highly of him. He wouldn't mind that in the least. Yes, this particular girl had for the longest time haunted his thoughts to no end, initially it was simply on passing appreciating the way her vermillion hair was set a glow like fire on the especially sunny days, or admiring the way every outfit fit her body just right in the face of being wore with the purpose of being modest. There was no brushing off that what Kevin felt was unsaturated attraction for the straight A, high school student. However, it could be said just as candidly that he was attracted to many other woman he had come across; Nevertheless none enchanted him the same way she did upon first interaction. With most he teamed up with, they went about their actions as though walking on eggshells—He didn't blame them, his reputation wasn't the most reassuring one on the block, and he had made no efforts to disprove them either. Of his own choice as well, having people fear him was easier. None dared to anger him, none bothered him was useless things, and last but certainly not least, even the teachers respected him.

And yet, Gwen treated him the same she would any other classmate. She looked him directly in the eyes, shorn of any fear; If anything, she looked at him if he would have been wiser to fear him. They were on equal terms whether Kevin liked it or, and he tended not to… but somehow, didn't mind it with her. It was nearly impossible to resist such enchanting jade eyes, and express anything without her eloquently spoken voice urging his to think each word out thoroughly before being spoken. She, put simply was perfect, it was impossible to find a flaw with her. He was utterly and completely entranced with her existence, and desired deeply to spend more time with her, hear her speak to him more, and listen to him with that thoughtful look she always wore when they conversed.

It was precisely for this reason, waiting for her scrawny cousin to respond was so grading to his patience. Kevin on most days preferred to keep his distance from any of the athletic clicks at school due to them all attempting to convince him into joining one of their many clubs. But Kevin would always decline because he preferred spending his off time working at his mechanic job, fixing and sprucing up vehicles was his only talent that didn't require legal action taken. But for the sake of such a maiden, he confronted the shortest of the supposed school jocks; In truth Kevin stifled a snicker at the idea of a short, lean, pretty boy like Benjamin Tennyson partaking in sports—but he had somehow proven his talents enough on the field that all other teams lost when he was on the field. Kevin could only pray Ben was reliable enough to fulfill his simple task. He wanted to confront Gwen himself, but he couldn't stand the thought of having her turn him down to his face, notwithstanding the possibility of an sickening expression very well would've contorted across her delicate face at the thought of ever loving him.

"Levin." Like a gift from the heavens, Ben approached Kevin during study hall. Despite desperately trying to predict the answer by reading the boy's face, his face was a blank canvas(Kevin presumed his brain was as such as well.). "I've spoken with Gwen."

"And?" Kevin said a little too impatiently, he struggled to maintain his nonchalant façade, but the anticipation did away with any hopes of achieving that. "What'd she say, Tennyson?"

Ben brushed a hand through his hair, at last displaying an emotion:  _anxiety_. "She's interested." Kevin's heart jumped for joy, he could barely suppress the smile making its way onto his face. "In being friends with you… at the moment." Ben clarified, aiding Kevin in suppressing his smile to the point of completely eliminating the urge entirely.

"Not romantically, I take it?" Kevin's voice seemed to drop in several octaves at these news.

"I don't know if you heard me when I told you this yesterday, but Gwen doesn't do the whole 'dating' thing." Ben informed him, signs of resentment peeking into the crevices of his words. "Not normally, at least."

Kevin was crushed. It felt as though he was just hit by a truck… that was on fire… and heading for a cliff… with spikes at the bottom of it… all on fire, again. Naturally Kevin knew the taste of rejection, but he could never seem to build up a tolerance to its ache. "Hard pass, ey?" In his disappointment, Kevin hummed this to himself—Completely forgetting Ben still stood a few feet away from him in the hall.

"So friendship just doesn't cut it for you?" Ben piped in, reminding Kevin of his presence. Kevin turned back to the boy, the offensive stance he tended to take starting to rub Kevin the wrong way. Having such a smaller boy look at him, someone clearly more powerful, without the tiniest shred of unsteadiness was dangerously close to infuriating.

"Never said that, did I?" Kevin retorted darkly, not in the least appreciating the tone Ben had been using with him up to that point; He was beginning to think he  _didn't_  want her dating him. He took a step toward the boy, watching the boy for any emotion to cross his face—yet to his surprise, he seemed to be doing the same with him. "Say, Tennyson, you're telling me the truth aren't you?"

Ben refused him the benefit of a telling expression, "What would I possibly have to gain from lying,  **Kevin**?" No one called him by his first name at school, and yet here Ben stood fearlessly addressing him as such. "Just remember you swore not to pressure her into dating you." The accusation alone that he might do such a thing to the woman of his dreams was insulating to Kevin, furry welled up in him as he attempted to stare Ben down; The boy stood his ground.

"You honestly think I'd do that, punk?" Kevin demanded, raising his voice to intimidate. "Do you think you're brave too? Because you're only looking reckless to me right now." With every step taken by the man his shadow hung heavier over Ben. He didn't intend to hurt him, merely scare him a little so that then the imp would finally come to see where his place was. And how utterly foolish a decision it was to piss off such a powerful figure as Kevin E. Levin.

"The only thing I think right now is that I'm the only one who seems to care about what Gwen wants." Each word Ben spoke was like a dagger piercing Kevin. Ever since  _the incident_  he had done his time, whether it was community service, or therapy; He was truly, and honestly trying to be better. Yet for a moment he reverted back to the way he was… it sickened him to think he let go at all for a second. How could Gwen ever love him if he was like  _that_? He wasn't worth loving like that… He had to be better. Better. Better. He had to be. If she were ever to love him he had to be.

Kevin back pedaled away from Ben, covering his face with his forearm out of shame, "I… I didn't mean it… I…" He tragically fumbled his words, frantic, and ashamed of himself. "I'm not usually like this." He struggled to reassure.

"And what if you were with Gwen?" Another stab, if verbal wounds could bleed, Kevin knew he'd be soaked in it.

"I wouldn't be!" Kevin argued. Somehow the conversation turned from Kevin trying to scare Ben, to Ben scaring Kevin without even trying in a mere few seconds. Kevin opened his mouth to spew some other excuse, not sure what would come out, yet the sound of footsteps echoed not so far from the two down the hall silenced any words he would have(if he could have) formed. In sync the two turned toward the sound of the steps, from around the corner arrived the one person Kevin wasn't sure he could face in the condition he was in.

Gwendolyn May-The-Lord-Have-Mercy-On-Him Tennyson, wearing a dark grey turtle-neck sweater with black dress-pants, and black flats. Her silky red hair, surprisingly to Kevin was pulled back in a ponytail, as well as a darker layer of liner across her eyelids. "Ben, have you received yet the criteria for Civics? I believe you took my textbook home with me, we can compromise and work together. If memory serves, Mr. Rouleau tends to focus on the earlier aspects of unit 1, I thought we could start there." Came Gwen's professional tone, she seemed so on task in fact she had yet to even acknowledge Kevin's existence. That is until Ben shifted his eyes from her's to Kevin's, encouraging her to turn to the taller man. "Oh, sorry, I didn't see you there. It's good to see you, Levin." Proper, and elegant as always Gwen said to him, gracing him with the smallest hint of a smile.

It irked the raven-haired man to think a woman so lovely would never consider him, but most of all it hurt to think he had no chance. "Yeah," Was all Kevin could manage to croak. But met with an unimpressed expression from Ben just outside of Gwen's view, he attempted to prolong his reply. "Me too."

Gwen's smile for the briefest of moments appeared forced. A million different thoughts raced through his mind, possibly that he came across as arrogant, or obnoxious, and maybe a little too eager? Did she expect some sort of hero type to sweep her off her feet, instead of going to her cousin like a coward? Kevin cursed his past self for not thinking of that first, surely he had ruined his chances with her- No, Kevin refused to accept that as the reality of his situation. There still existed the possibility that Ben was simply an scamp intent on tormenting him and fabricated her answer, there was still hope for him! There had to be! Kevin stammered out the first thing to come to his head in that moment, "Gwen, I want you to go out with me."

Just moments before Kevin spoke, Gwen was negotiating with Ben studying schedules for the upcoming exams, but Kevin's voice broke through their conversing with more of a stern suggestion than an offer. Earning an astonished look from Ben, one that Kevin relished due to his spite for the boy, and an embarrassed yet flustered look from Gwen. "Pardon me?" The red head barely said loud enough for anyone to hear her.

"You, me, date, tonight. It's pretty self-explanatory." Confidence was beginning to make its home in his voice, for at this point Kevin knew he had no way back from his statement. Besides, the quickly darkening hue brushed against the apples of Gwen's cheeks didn't succeed to diminish his hopes in the slightest.

"I-I don't know…I Kin-" Kevin, fearful she'd say what Ben told him she would, interrupted her before she could; He wasn't ready to hear it, he wanted to prove to her what he could be, if only she allowed him.

"It could be dinner, or a movie, I don't care; You can even choose." Kevin offered, hiding his insecurities with a confident smiles and soft chuckles; As well as ignoring the defensive look enveloping across the woman of his affection's cousin's face. If his dreams were to be fulfilled of making her his bride, he would have to learn to live with her family. Including her insufferable overprotective cousin.

"My choice?" Kevin's smile began to grow more sincere as Gwen appeared to actually consider. Biting her lip, as stray hair fell in her face from fidgeting nervously.

"That's what I said, didn't I?" Kevin assured her. To his delight she finally made eye contact with him after so long without since he had sprung the question, her beautiful jade orbs contrasted against his Bort. "So, what do you say?" He struggled to not display a sense of eagerness, but the anticipation was wearing on his nerves—At any moment he felt as though he would break beneath it's pressure like Ben a toothpick.

Gwen smiled shyly at him, the softest of reds below her long eyelashes. "Okay." Behind her, Kevin swore he heard Ben sputter. "But can Ben chaperone? Call me conservative, but I was raised on the philosophy that you must always make room for the lord in your relationship." Gwen inquired timidly of Kevin. While Kevin found it incredibly hard to ever deny those eyes of anything, the urge to cringe at her words came over him; Being the ex-convict he was, choosing morality over what other tended to label sin was problematic to say the least.

"Are you Christian?" Kevin nervously asked for clarifications.

Gwen shook her head, "Not exactly, I believe there very well could be a god, but I meant it more as in I want a pure relationship… if that makes sense." She turned quickly to check in on her companion, who appeared to still be processing the current scenario they were in. With quite visibly utter difficulty. "What do you say?"

Ben narrowed his eyes at her, the two were silent as though having a telepathic conversation between the two; Only causing more anxiety to come of Kevin. At that point, Kevin was under the impression the only thing standing between him and his soon-to-be lover was her paranoid cousin—Or whatever stick that was driven up his ass. "Heck to the no! My days of third-wheeling for you are over!" Ben chimed, shaking both his hands and head frantically.

Due to Kevin's gifted heightened hearing, he perceived Gwen whispering to the boy something along the lines of: "But I'm scared," Or, "Please, what if I'm awkward." Kevin also believes he heard Ben whisper back something similar to: "When aren't you?" Or, "The only kinds of dates I go on, I'm in!"

Finally after what seemed like an eternity, Gwen span on her heel to Kevin, smiling broadly. "It's decided, You and I will go out while Ben and his girlfriend go out; As a double date." Both Kevin and Ben sputtered at this.

"I don't have a girlfriend!" Ben reminded Gwen in a panic. But she merely waved him off with little worry.

"What about that foreign exchange student who confessed to you the other day, didn't you say you were interested in her?" Ben sheepishly nodded to her statement, avoiding all possible eye contact from either of the two others standing in the hall. "Then it's decided for sure this time! A double date to the movies, doesn't that sound fun?" Gwen turned to Kevin nearing the end of her statement, her eyes seeming to glitter with a undeniable sense of excitement. Unable to deny her, Kevin nodded as well,

"What movie did you have in mind?" Kevin inquired. He finally regained a sense of relief, and while he wasn't all too keen to having Ben and his aforementioned girlfriend invading their serenade, something was better than nothing; He was willing to take his chances in strides.

Gwen smiled wide, "Recently I've been keeping tabs on the release of the new upcoming  _Kangaroo Kommando 3: Eternity Battle_  movie, according to my sources a screening of it in 3D is taking place at 6:30 tonight; Does that sound of interest to you?" Kevin nodded vigorously, "Excellent! Pick me up at 6 then," Gwen gestured for Kevin to hand her his phone, so doing as told, she opened a notepad app to write down both the address of her residence, as well as the coordinates of the movie theater it was airing in.

Kevin given back his phone, grinning at it with a warm sense of satiation, "See you tonight then?" He said in song-song voice, glancing at the ginger with a loving gaze. She returned the look with one of kindness, or what Kevin could only assume to be one of high hopes—Hopes he hadn't the intention to disappoint. He would prove to her how much he deserved her, and how happy he could prove to make her.

"I look forward to it." She said sweetly before turning away to return to class, leaving behind Kevin and Ben in the hall as they were before; Only it was not Kevin to be the one in a state of tension, yet instead it was Ben this time. He either found something incredibly fascinating in the floor, or was averting his eyes purposely from Kevin(He enjoyed watching Ben slowly come to realize that Kevin had won… whatever competition they had).

Ben at long last glanced up at Kevin, who had refused to move until he was given the satisfaction of having Ben admit he was wrong. But somehow, Kevin earned a sense of bewilderment at the look of acceptance Ben displayed. "Say, Levin." Ben didn't continue until Kevin gave a slight grunt as a verbal acknowledgment, "I'm betting a lot on you right now, do me proud, okay? Make Gwen happy the way  _he_  never could."

Kevin opened his mouth the ask for clarification, the mention of a ' _he'_  drove his mind into another secession of worry, as well as slight envy, but Ben had already vacated the hall at that point. Seeing he would have to wait for any explanation, Kevin chose to heed it no thought—What he was far more interested in thinking about was the date scheduled for him that night, and the unfiltered excitement it filled him with.  _Gwendolyn May Levin_ , yes, he liked the sound of that very, very much.

* * *

 

Most other girls Gwen's age if presented with either preparing for a date, or an exam would almost always chose the former. However, in Gwen's case, the advent of a exam was far more preferable; Scheduling timetables, planning which sections of the units to focus on, as well as preparing vocabulary cards were but a simple task for her to complete. Deciding upon what to wear, what perfume to use, or makeup palettes to paint her face with was a task she had little to no experience in. In her life she on many occasions attended weddings, as well as participated in them, and as such had partial experience when it came to formal clothing, but surely the clothing you'd adorn for a wedding would not be the same for a date… right? It infuriated her to no end the fact that she hadn't the slightest clue.

She tried confronting Pinterest for inspiration, searching under a dozen of those date outfit tags, but all included clothing in no way had she in her possession; Sure, Gwen knew she wasn't the most trendiest of dressers, but it was bordering on ridiculous—She was beginning to think she had the fashion sense of senior citizen… at least she wasn't as terrible as her Grandfather Maxwell Tennyson, certainly if he were still alive, he'd be sporting the same red Hawaiian shirt as he had many, many years ago. Gwen couldn't help but smile a little at the memory of his kind, aged face… before the memory of his disappointed, and torn face flashed through her mind just as quickly, replacing the sunny memories with the ones of cramped, dark spaces, and the smell of leaking gasoline, and reek of burning iron…  _blood_.  _There was just so much of it_ …

Banishing the memories from her mind as much as she possibly could, Gwen in a rush grabbed her delicates and ran into the bathroom to shower. After taking a long and hot rinse, in hopes of washing away the memories she had tried to time and time again without much success, she exited the shower before wrapping her fuchsia towel around her body, then proceeded to leaving the bathroom to her room, in hopes of finding something other than a pair of panties and a bra to wear on her date. To her surprise, sitting on her bed was her chestnut haired cousin, entrancing in reading something off of her laptop(She regretted ever disclosing her password to him).

She tightened her towel's wrap before raising her voice to draw his attention, "A little early don't you think?" Ben glanced up from the laptop before at twice the speed shielded his scope of vision with the devices' screen.

" _Better three minutes early than three hours late_ , right?" Ben reasoned, and while Gwen wanted to commend him on quoting her favorite poet, she was less than prone to doing just than as he was more than certainly accessing what were written with the intention to be private files off her laptop.

She shook her head while breathing out a sigh, "Be that as it may, I pray you're only looking at my school notes and  **nothing**  else." Gwen warned him, making her way over to her closet this time intending to decide on the appropriate apparel. As her jade green eyes ghosted over her myriad of sweaters, and collar shirts, she listen closely for the sound of Ben heeding her warning and putting the laptop down. No such sound was heard however, instead Ben spoke up,

" _'He delicately with his own callused covered hands, ones carved with the scars of the battles he had fought in her name, grasped her chin to turn her luminous violet eyes towards his of the same hue. 'It was only ever you, my lovely witch' His husky voice purred before capturing her lips in a-'_ " Gwen in a panic threw whatever she could get her hands on first at him, whether it was a sweater shirt, or a lone leather boot, ever possible item flew threw the air at Ben to silence him.

"THAT'S PRIVATE!" Gwen shrieked, utterly horrified by the notion that he had found such a private work of hers she had prayed no one would ever find. Notwithstanding the quote hailed from quite a deal far in the novel, for how long had he read? Had he really read that far? By that point, Gwen's face achieved a shade of red to rival her own hair, "NOT FOR ANYONE TO READ!"

Ben only smirked at her while managing to quickly dodge every projectile of hers, "What? It's good! Sure, it's a little on the overly-romanticized side, but still really good!" His compliment caused Gwen to halt in her violent assault, fidgeting with her clammy figures bashfully as she stared intently at the carpet.

"Y-You think so?" Gwen chirped shyly, a small sense of pride blooming in her at her—what she initially thought to be—rather garbage work of fiction.

"Totally, I like the aspects of science verses magic. And the heavy use of Latin, it kinda reminds me of a mix of  _Harry Potter_ ,  _Inuyasha_  and  _Adventure-Time_. You should definitely consider publishing it." Ben wore a genuine smile as he said this, closing his eyes so that he could smile at her without seeing more of her than he needed to; Despite her being covered.

"Maybe… I don't know… I'll consider…" Gwen mumbled, her thoughts reminding her of further chapters in the story with contents she had yet to be ready to make known to anyone. "Next time, ask before you go through my things." She cautioned, this time more thoughtful with a side of gratitude soaking her tone of voice. She tore her attention away from her disobedient, but thoughtful cousin back to her now chaotic closet—Her erratic grapping, and throwing of various items succeeded to create the aftermath of a tornado all within the confines of her once organized closet.

Noticing her hesitation to pick a piece of clothing to adorn, and finally do away from her scandalous wearing of purely delicates and towel, Ben began, "Didn't you tell Kevin to pick you up at 6:00? Knowing you'll take a million years to get ready, maybe you should pick up the pace?" Gwen knew he meant well, but that fact did naught to stop her from glaring intensely at him.

"Unlike you, I actually put thought into what I wear; Instead of just going in something casual like ripped jeans and hoodies." Gwen retorted. Ben was never one for fashion, nor caring what others thought of him, this much Gwen knew all too well. At the very least he made sure to have good hygiene as well as having a pleasant scent, however in spite of the lack of effort he invested, he had somehow won over the hearts of many of Gwen's peers with his wild(Or what they called "Cute") hair, clear("Dreamy" as they called it) lime green eyes, and cheeky("Sexy") smile. It almost made Gwen jealous that while she put endless amounts of effort into her appearance, and worried over whether she compared to what was considered Beautiful, her cousin didn't appear to share in any of her qualms; The least he could do is wear something more formal, or brush his hair every once in a while; Instead of only bothering with wearing a NASA logo unbranded white hoodie that at some point lost it's strings, dark jeans embellished with rips torn not by the factory it was manufactured, but by the model himself. With a pair of neon green Nikes on his feet, and his lucky green watch(An accessory he had picked up at Space camp in years past)—Besides these few pieces described, no other effort was put forth by the boy.

"Ripped jeans and hoodies are better than underwear and towel." Ben quipped back, not receiving the laughter he hoped he would. "Ugh, whatever next time I will; Happy?"

"Yep!" Gwen giggled, "Now leave, I'm getting dressed." She proceeded to command, which thankfully Ben immediately vacated the room once she had spoke the words 'getting dressed'. She smiled to herself, a warm feeling returning to her heart. She missed her Grandfather more than words could describe, and with every day it felt as though her parents strayed farther and farther from her, yet in the middle of all this she still had her doofus cousin. And for that she was eternally grateful, granted she was unlikely to ever tell him this much, she knew he knew anyways the same way she knew he relied on her as well. Together, they could forget that time… They could forget the emptiness left by their Grandfather as he took his last breath.

Deciding she had given the issue enough thought for the day, Gwen at last decided upon black tights, black lace-up boots that reached her mid shin, and a dark cobalt tent-dress with long sleeves that transitioned into fingerless gloves. Braiding back the top layer of her hair in a half up, half down hairstyle with a butterfly clip of the same hue as her dress. Topped off with a thin layer of black eye-liner, mascara, and lip gloss a shade darker than her already naturally rosy lips. Smiling at her own reflection, pleased with the outcome, Gwen spritz a mist of lavender-scented perfume before proceeding to exist her room.

The ginger stepped into the living room where Ben was waiting, clearing her throat as she entered. Ben turned to look at her after pausing the program he was watching, his jaw dropped immediately as his eyes quickly ran up her figure. "What do you think? Worth the wait?" Gwen inquired shyly, twirling around briefly to give view to all aspects of her attire. Ben gulped nervously before nodding slowly,

"Kevin will be left speechless, that's for sure." The boy said as his cheeks tinted slightly, his compliment causing Gwen to hide her shy smile behind strands of ruby hair.

"Thanks, Cous." As Gwen said this, her home's doorbell echoed throughout the manor. Both the Tennyson teens turned to it in sync.

"Welp, looks like Prince Charming is right on time." Ben said, beckoning her to answer the door. Without hesitating Gwen strolled over to the door, and opened it for the one she knew to be behind it. Kevin wearing a white-tee, a pale pair of jeans, high-cut grey sneakers and a thick black leather jacket with divots and metal zippers in places that couldn't be zipped. Having his long crow-black hair combed back, as well as a chain with a lock hanging from his neck, if Gwen hadn't known any better she would have thought he stubbled right out of a  _Duran Duran_  music video.

"Hey." Kevin greeted plainly, a red hue enveloping his face, ears and neck as he repeatedly took sneaky glances at her appearance. In response she graced him with a playful smile,

"Hey yourself." Gwen greeted, "Thanks for picking me up, impeccable timing as well!" She commented after glancing at her mobile's built in clock.

"Not a problem, expect nothing less from me." Kevin stated diffidently, still just as red as he was previously to first seeing her. Momentarily Gwen turned away from him to call into the house for Ben, bringing him out to the door. "Tennyson." Was all Kevin gave to acknowledge Ben.

"Let's not keep Julie waiting." Ben urged him nonchalantly, walking past Kevin in the direction of his evergreen mustang with a black stripe down the front of it's hood. The three buckled up into the car, Kevin driving, Gwen in the passenger's seat, and Ben in the back with an empty seat saved for his date. A lonesome silence filled the air, all passenger's left to their own thoughts and anticipation as Kevin neared the foreign exchange student's house. Finally pulling up in the girl's drive way, Ben existed the car and trotted up to the girl's door after informing the two he wouldn't be long.

At last given the solitude with Gwen Kevin desired, he spoke up to snap her away from her thoughts. "Uh, just wanted to thank you again for coming and all that…" Too imitated to dare look the ginger in the eyes, he could feel her piercing gaze on him.

"You're really okay with this? It's not too much?" Gwen responded instead with another question, a single brow of hers raised. Earlier, when Kevin sprung the question on her to say she was surprised was an understatement as she had believed Ben informed him of her apprehension of a relationship, yet he seemed so genuine in his asking of her; For a moment, even if it was short, Gwen could imagine a world where she could be in love with him. Opposed to being constantly hung up of romances of yesteryear. She had thought as long as events followed a strict rubric, it would reach an end product ideal for the two of them. Gwen hadn't considered however, whether or not he would be receptive to her proposition—She wasn't blind to the tension between him and her cousin, but she reasoned that Ben was her best friend, and he could be Kevin's as well granted he gave Ben the chance.

Kevin shrugged his shoulders, his firm grip on the steering wheel loosening. "If you're there, I can deal." Kevin answered honestly, smiling softly at her out of the corner of his eyes. Gwen mirrored his smile, encouraging him to continue, "Not sure why, but that cousin of yours doesn't seem all too on board with me pursuing you. But I know it's just the whole overprotective brother dynamic you've got going. Guess I'm just not looking forward to proving myself to him."

Gwen frowned at the less than positive mention of Ben, but made certain not to make such thoughts known to her date. "I'm sorry, he's really a great guy once you get to know him, I promise." She assured him, frantically she shook away thoughts of her cousin to better focus on her date—Talking about other people on a date was rude, wasn't it? She felt so incredibly ignorant. "Enough about him, tell me about you. Tell me about Kevin Levin, what makes him tick?"

"Uh, I don't know. What's there to tell? I currently live alone in a apartment I pay for by working at a Car Garage repairing whatever comes in. I was held back a year so I'm the oldest student attending Bellwood High, but even with that draw-back I still get decent grades. Uh, that's about it really." Kevin introduced, feeling at a loss of what to say. There were certainly many events throughout his life he could retell, but he hadn't come to the point in which he believed the beautiful girl sitting next to him could not continue to gaze at him so kindly if she heard them. Not when the last thing he was, was someone of a admirable background.

"Oh I don't believe that, there's no such thing as a simple person. Everyone has their quirks, gifts, and flaws—No one is given any special treatment when it comes to this fact." Gwen informed him a-matter-of-factly, a smirk pulling at the edges of her lips.

"I disagree, if there were no such thing as someone without flaws, than how do you exist?" Kevin playfully said back, now turning to her with a muse filled smirk. Gwen flushed with embarrassment. While being told she was without fault was flattering, she knew all too well she was anything but. Intending to say something back to him, Gwen was interrupted by Ben and another sliding into the back row. A girl, not so different in height to Gwen, only that their proportions were slightly different, as well as the girl possessed a sun-kissed complexion, and silky midnight black hair cut into a bob at her chin. With dark chocolate brown eyes framed by slanted, winged lined eyelids powdered with light golden eyeshadow. Her thin lips were painted with a deep rose gold lip balm, that matched the floral leggings she wore. She appeared rather dainty in her white lace cardigan covered golden coldshouldered tank, and her sugary sweet smile—It could've been a mere assumption, but Gwen was already under the distinct impression the girl would treat her cousin well.

"You must be the Julie Yamamoto I've heard so much about, I'm Gwen, Ben's cousin by the way—Don't believe whatever he says about me, he lies!" Gwen introduced, turning in her seat to extend her had to her cousin's date. A gesture she happily returned, even being kind enough as to laugh at Gwen's small joke.

"Don't worry, Gwen, you seem like a real doll to me." Julie assured sweetly, turning to Ben for his reaction(Ben was too busy looking like he wasn't going to self-implode to notice).

Gwen waved her hands to signal modesty, "You're too kind, how'd my doofus of a cousin manage to win over such a sweet girl?" Julie smiled bashfully, a blush brushing across her round face.

"In all honesty, I'm still surprised he even reciprocated my feelings… I feel so honored to have someone like Ben." As Julie said this, her voice sincere and soft she turned to Ben with a undying love a glow in her eyes—So sincere and true, Gwen couldn't help but recall a time when she too had such an expression reflected in her own eyes once. It was such a long time ago, however. She wondered if she could ever feel like that again, but it was not a emotion to which she intended to share with her past self again. She already promised herself she was past such a time.

Ben, timidly smiled back at her, oddly enough without words to express; Gwen knew him well enough to know he was immensely flattered by the young woman's words. "Well ain't that a match made in heaven?" Kevin mused beside Gwen, partially embarrassing her as she was foolish enough to forget his presence for the briefest of moments. She turned back around in her seat, eyes squarely placed on the road—They were getting close.

"So it seems. I'm really happy for them." Gwen stated plainly.

Kevin didn't seem to pick up on her downcast attitude, or if he did, he hadn't mentioned as such. "In all honesty, the whole relationship thing was never something I put much thought into—I had the occasion fling here and there, but it just never meant anything to me. When I see couples like them, it makes me want that sort of relationship; To not be erratic in my take of it." Though his eyes were focused on the road, as well as taking occasional glances at his phone's GPS, Gwen could tell he was watching her from his peripheral vision; And that in some ways, he was similar to her. They both sought a meaningful connection.

"I've never dated anyone before, so I can't exactly relate to all of which you've shared… but I think I understand what you're saying." Gwen told him, attempting to smile at an angle he could view with his limited scope of vision. And seemingly he did as he too smiled. It was simple, but sweet. Gwen didn't mind the man's company in the least. Eventually the quartet reached the theater and quickly made their way to the back seats, all four of them agreeing it to be the ideal place to watch any movie in. Both being the comic readers they were, neither Gwen nor Ben was completely invested in the movie as they both knew how the film would play out. That had yet to stop them from having a blast during the movie nevertheless. Between lines of dialogue the two would flick popcorn into the other's mouth, all the while oblivious to Kevin's attempts to sling his arm around Gwen's shoulders.

"Augh! You missed again, you're wasting popcorn!" Gwen scolded in a whisper, even in the dark Ben could hear the piercing glare undoubtably across her face in her tone alone. Silencing her by directly placing a kernel of popcorn her mouth himself, she giggled, "Thank you!"

"Whatever, I'd like to see you make a perfect shot in the dark." Ben groaned, attempting to the best of his abilities to lower his voice. Gwen giggled confidently, her prideful side making a brief appearance.

"It's all a matter of aerodynamics, dearest Tennyson." Gwen chided, reaching into her purse to retrieve a hair tie. Grabbing a single piece of popcorn she launched the kernel into the boy's mouth purely by using the elastic as a slingshot. "Impressed?"

Ben rolled his eyes, smiling in spite of himself. "I'm just glad we're not wasting precious carbohydrates." The two began to laugh at their antics, neither having any intention of halting in their mirth until a bright scene was projected onto the movie screen, reflecting onto the audience giving vision to Ben long enough to catch sight of Kevin slowly drawing his arm closer to Gwen's shoulder. Overcome by his impulsive drive to protect Gwen, whether he knew it or not, instinctively Ben sought to stop him. "Dweeb, you've got popcorn on your shoulder." Reaching over to Gwen to place his arm on her shoulder as a way to shield it from Kevin, Ben relaxed into said position as though it was a natural thing for him to do. While Gwen didn't seem all to bothered by him leaning on her, judging by the low grunt of irritation that he bite out, the raven-haired man was not all too keen to the action Ben had decided on taking either. But Kevin would have to deal, as Ben saw it, Gwen had him come along as to keep the peace, and keep the peace he intended to do; He didn't hate Kevin, in fact he saw a lot of potential in him, that didn't stop Ben from being careful with him nevertheless. The boy would die before he let anything attempt to defile his cousin. Family looked out for each other, he strongly reasoned.

Cued by the jump scare, half of the four knew to be coming Julie yelped in surprise, immediately rushing to grab Ben's arm, in the process of which, yanked brunet from his cousin's shoulder. "No! She was my favorite character!" Julie cried, wiping her tears away on Ben's sleeve. Feeling a wave of sympathy brush over him, he consoled her brushing his fingers softly through her silky raven hair.

"Hey, don't sweat it, I've already read this arc, it'll be fine." Ben assured her delicately, his gentle action earning a thankful expression from his date. Her thin lips tilting up as she leaned into the hand that pet her.

"Thank you, Ben." A soft smile was shared between the two of them, a smile that Gwen could not wear herself, not when the emptiness persisted in her heart. Deciding to ignore the two for the remainder of the production, the movie seemed to take ages to end as the very thing she attempted to not put thought into was the only thing she could focus on. Undoubtably, whatever divine being that controlled her life was toying with her no better than a gamer with its sim.

"That was surprisingly good," Kevin admitted as they exited the theater, "I wasn't expecting it to be as good as it was, I mean how can something called Kangaroo Kommando possibly?" The man's joke received no amusement from the Tennyson's faces, they both stared back at him plainly—As though he was an ignorant creature whom offended the great Tennyson ancestors.

"Foolish mortal, you know not of the master piece that is Kangaroo Kommando." Ben proclaimed in a dramatized serious tone, causing Julie to giggle cutely at. "Worry not, young maiden, I will teach you the ways of the Kangaroo Kommando franchise as to not become like him."

"Yes please!" Julie giggled once again, snuggling affectionately into him.

Ben grinned at the Asian girl hanging off his arm flirtingly, "Naturally! Lesson number 1:  _Love all, trust few, do wrong to none_." He proclaimed mock sternly as they continued to exchange playful banter.

"Don't worry about it Kevin, he's just pulling your leg." Gwen informed Kevin, smiling with slight amusement as their pace fell behind Ben and Julie's. "Although, I  _do_  think you're missing out." She added with a slight wink.

"Hey, Gwen, Levin!" Ben called the two's attention, "I'm walking Julie home, okay?" Gwen, intensely surprised by her cousin's forwardness could only muster a slight nod. Kevin, on the other hand didn't even bat an eye. "Get Gwen home immediately, no stalling, got it?" Kevin waved off Ben's order,

"Yeah whatever, dad." Kevin responded, leading Gwen back to his car in silence. However, it was not as though Gwen hated the silence, it gave room to her thoughts to reason with herself; As though she was sitting at a round table, exchanging logical suggestions. It was enormously difficult for her however to conquer comprehensible thoughts as all she could think about was how quickly Ben seemed to be maturing… and in a way she wasn't certain was ideal. There was no proving he intended to take Julie home to have his way with her, she could only assume, she didn't know how the boy's views on relationships had changed over the years. Perhaps that's what was normal and natural… and yet… and yet she didn't herself feel ready for something like that. It seemed to her as something meant to be special, saved even. And yet suddenly she felt left behind in her own Juvenile cage she built herself. In the cage of her constant need to be the best at everything she did, to have constant control over the situation, and her obnoxious, undying desire to still be with  ** _him_**. Oh how she missed it. She wanted  ** _him_**  to sweep her off her feet once again, to recite sweet sonnets to her as  **he**  had once done before, to delicately caress her face with  **his**  thumbs as he did so long ago—As though she was the most precious thing to  **him** , more precious than a thousand diamonds and all the pleasures the world could offer  **him**. And how once, they had agreed they would stay together forever… and how long ago that was… and how much older she had gotten since then…

But maybe… Gwen was being too selfish and expectant? She wasn't a child anymore,  **he**  was no longer around. Everyone around her was growing up… perhaps it was her turn to as well? It was something she would require to sleep on, and seriously consider. "We're back." Kevin informed Gwen, snapping her back into reality to smile sheepishly at him.

"Sorry, I was so out of it; Tired I guess." Gwen explained, embarrassment flushing her face once again as it did many times before. Kevin just smiled, satisfied,

"Don't sweat it. I had fun." Kevin told her genuinely, the moonlight reflecting in his onyx eyes. Gwen returned the gesture,

"Me too." Gwen agreed.

"Could we… maybe do this again?" Kevin shyly stammered after a small amount of silence between the two of them. Seeing the blush he wore, Gwen couldn't help but be reminded of  _him_  once again. Kevin must have truly liked her, and if that were the case, who was she to not humor the possibility; After all, she had found a kindred spirit in him.

"Call me." Gwen gently grabbed Kevin's large hands in her delicate ones, using the marker she kept in her purse to scribble her digits onto his skin. After finishing the simple task she briefly waved him a good bye, before proceeding into her house—Intent on giving thought to the quiry she considered earlier. As she left, Kevin could only smile to himself, clutching his hands to relish the warm she gave them for as long as it lasted. Repeating a single name in his head repeatedly like a broken record.

_Gwendolyn May Levin, Gwendolyn May Levin, Gwendolyn May Levin…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All done, whoooooooohoooooo, I hope you liked it... or whatever I dunno I'm sleep deprived. Anyways, we've got Julie in the story now so yayyy everyone's together, let the shit storm of shipping begin. It's only been a little over nine years, we can bring the shipping war back(I'm kidding please do not, I can not survive another shipping war). Feel free to review or comment your thoughts, or just do whatever your heart longs to- I don't judge. I hope you enjoyed it, bye! Random note: Bort is a black-ish brown gemstone, it's for that reason I used it to describe Kevin's eye color. Go ahead and use it if you want, I don't care, I don't own it! I just like gem shit! Blame my love for Houseki no Kuni or Steven universe, I don't care. xD


	3. Chapter 3: “Don’t waste your love on somebody, who doesn’t value it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I have been waiting SOOOOOOO long to post this. I wanted to stick to my schedule, so I didn't post it early. But this chapter is where I felt like things got serious(haha!). Like I said before, not as much as 8k words, but I did try on this one, so I hope you still like it despite being short. There's also a Kingdom Hearts reference in it, because I love Kingdom hearts. But anyways, I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN BEN 10! OR ALL THE REFERENCES I MAKE.
> 
> I use themes from these works so slight spoilers: Ben 10(OG), Ben 10: Alien Force, Ben 10: Ultimate Alien, Ben 10 Comics(Yes they exist! And are cute, check 'em out.) Shakesphere! Lots and lots of it!
> 
> Trigger Warning: Mentions of PTSD(Post Tramatic Stress Disorder)

The rapidly colder biosphere accompanied Gwen into exam season, during of which all her classmates would converse about it as either, ' _Ugh! It's too cold_!' Or, ' _Ugh! There's too much to study_!', while personally for Gwen, December was a month she happily welcomed each year in strides. With Exams she had the ample opportunity to apply all the labor she had put into education thus far to work, as well as celebrating the seasonal holidays—Spending Christmas with her father's side of the family, while Hanukkah with her mother's. As a child she unsurprisingly, merely looked forward to the season in anticipation of the abundance of gifts, but as she aged, the joys of the holiday shifted into one of familial love, spending quality time with the one's she care for. Scheduling the time she would spend on studying, furthermore to the time spent of gift shopping was an additional joy to young ginger. She had already planned a majority of the gifts she'd give, a day-spa gift-card for her constantly stressed out mother, another football jersey to add to her father's secret sport obsessed collection, and as many Lint chocolates candies as she could fit into a Ita-Backpack for her cousin-in-law, Lucy.

Lucy Mann, while her cousin-in-law, the two had over the years grown very close due to her cousin working as nurse in the hospital, leading her to bring Lucy to visit Gwen as she recovered from an injury obtained in  _the accident_. When Gwen's parents were too busy to bring Gwen up to vist her friend, she could always count on her second cousin Joel to give her a ride as he too shared a close relationship with one of the Mann girls, eventually the nurse known as Camille and Joel got married, bringing joy to the now cousin-in-law made best friends. However, unfortunately for the two of them, Lucy lived a total of an eight to nine hour car drive away, and as such interactions were almost entirely reserved only to video-calls and constant texting. It was for this reason that the two cherished the holidays so much as it annually gave them the chance to spend time together. While they were not ten anymore, and wouldn't spend such time painting each other's toe-nails as they talked about various topics(School, books, and boys—The last one being mostly on Lucy's part), staying up late bearing their souls to each other was one of the most precious memories she possessed; Everyone has their dark secrets, one's they couldn't tell a soul, Lucy was the only person she could do such a thing to. While in the hospital her only form of companionship was found in her, and consequently it was why Gwen felt so close to her. Together they tended to share every single detail of their day to the other, but Gwen had yet to mention the newest of altercation's to her life. Since the first date a few weeks ago, Ben and Gwen hadn't spoken much, if at all. As it seemed, if Ben was stuck on any academic question, he would go to his grade A average of a girlfriend—Julie. And while the only reason Ben and Gwen ever spent time together before was merely out of their parent's assigning Ben to Gwen's tutorship. The olive-green eyed girl liked to believe he spent time with her not solely for that reason… She left her schedule open for him, equally distributing time to studying, gift shopping, and spending time with either her boyfriend or cousin.

Speaking of which, her newest status as  _'taken'_  had yet to be expressed to Lucy as well. Gwen wasn't sure if it was due to a lack of confidence in her courtability(Such an abstract concept she had yet to find a word for), or just because she wasn't sure how Lucy would respond to the news. The Mr. Smoothie runs she would take every other day with Kevin were an event she had grown to look forward to, even each familiarizing themselves with the smoothie flavor the other always preferred; Gwen Strawberry, and Kevin Blueberry. Despite having been seeing each other for nearly a month already, no progression in their relationship was taken. Every now and then she would catch him attempting to sling an arm around her, or hold her hand, nonetheless she would always awkwardly dodge it before trying to play it off as though she never saw it in the first place. If Kevin minded this behavior in the least, he had yet to express it to Gwen, which she felt guilt for—Simply put, she simply wasn't ready for intimacy in their relationship yet. She reasoned to herself there was no fault in taking it slow, but deep down she knew the true reason… even now, she couldn't remove  _his_  chaste kiss from her heart.

Those tender feelings, warm and inviting in her mind's eye, Gwen knew needed to be expelled. She knew she needed to drown any remainders of it and move on, it wasn't fair to Kevin to be the way she was. And as to complete such a task, she decided to invite him to her family's annual Christmas Eve party that night. Naturally Gwen knew Kevin would be cautious—He was meeting her parents for the first time after all, but she thought it to be a perfect gesture in expressing what role she wanted him to play in her life; One, she was certain he wanted her to play in his.

"Who?" Lily Tennyson, Gwen's mother asked. In one hand stirring beef stew, while in the cracking eggs into a mixing bowl; If there was a world record for multitasking, leave it up to her to blow the entire competition out of the water. "I'm sorry I wasn't completely listening, sweetie. It sounded like you wanted your  _boyfriend_  to have Christmas with us?"

Gwen smiled gracelessly at her own flour covered hand, choosing to focus on cutting dough as an alternative to looking at her mother. "Yes, my  _boyfriend_." Lily immediately stopped everything she was doing. When it came to preparing for a dinner party, never would she halt in preparation unless it was for something drastic. "Mum? You don't mind do you, because I've sort of already invited-"

"THANK THE LORD FOR HIS INFINITE BLESSINGS! I AM  _SO_  HAPPY, GWENDOLYN!" Her mother proclaimed as she pulled Gwen into a suffocatingly tight embrace, "For years I've prayed for this day! I always knew the lord had someone planned for you!"

Gwen smiled honestly this time, heavily relieved by the outcome of the situation. "Thanks, Mum… You sure you really don't mind? I kinda sprung it on you…" Lily released Gwen from her embrace, beaming broadly at her still.

"Think nothing of it, sweet-cheeks. It feels like my baby-girl's all grown up, it seemed like only yesterday you and Benjamin were practicing pulling rabbits from hats, now you're both on your way to being fine adults, finding the one's you want to spend the rest of your lives with." Her mother mused with nostalgia, wiping a stray joy filled tear from her eyes. Gwen could only roll her eyes at the mention of her and Ben's magician hobby from once upon a time. While she remembered it fondly for being what got her into magic, losing in that talent show was less than a fond memory. If one were ever to bring up such a event, without doubt a riot between the two would be ignited to settle who's fault in the first place it was for their losing of the competition. There were times the red-head wonder if she continued to learn magic only to display how talented she was at magic, as a way to win the argument. Albeit spiting the boy, a action she didn't particularly mind taking.

"What does Ben have to do with this, again?" Gwen quizzed as she returned to coating her finished dough along the pie pan, delicately pouring cinnamon glazed apple slices into it. Lily, like her daughter returned to her previous tasks,

"You didn't hear? Benjamin is coming with his new girlfriend this year too!" Lily announced, giggling happily all the while—Still delighted by Gwen's news.

"No I didn't hear, we haven't spoken much lately…" Gwen mumbled the last part, the wound was still sensitive.

"Aw, I'm sorry to hear that. What about those tutoring sessions?" Gwen shook her head sadly,

"He goes to Julie for that now, but that's okay. We're growing up, going our separate ways. It's a part of life." Gwen stated a matter-of-factly, trying to convince herself more than her own mother. Or anyone else for that matter.

"Hmm… well, either way I'm happy for you. I was beginning to wonder if you would ever give me grandkids." Lily remarked audaciously, tilting her head slightly to grin mischievously at her daughter. Gwen burned a deep shade of red, a shade that rivaled that of her own hair color,

"MUM!" She shrieked, horrified by her mother's forwardness.

"Just don't rush things, sex should be saved for after marrig-" Gwen shrieked a second time to put an end to her mother once again,

"ENOUGH!" Gwen hastily placed her now complete pie into the oven before setting the timer, "Take it out when it's done, I'm going to get ready." Not waiting to receive a response in fear of receiving yet another embarrassing statment, the young ginger stomped upstairs to her room. Slamming the door behind her. She wasn't sure whether to be thankful her mother was so accepting of the news, or to be fearful for what embarrassing things she'd say to Kevin. Either way, she decided to heed it no thought for the time being, it was a problem for future Gwen. Present Gwen's job was to get ready for the party. Taking a brisk shower, coiling her fiery red hair with a curling-iron, as well as shading her eyes with pale shades of gold and evergreen, with dark burgundy lip-bum painted across her lips. She adorned herself in an evergreen sweater with silver embroidered snowflakes in it's hem, covering her white collar shirt. Outfitted in a black pleated skirt that reached her mid-thig, black tights and flats, she finished off with silver studs in her second piercings, but dangling emeralds in her first.

Smiling in satisfaction at her reflection, Gwen pulled out her phone to snap a picture, immediately sending said picture to Lucy with the caption: ' **Look for the one in the green**   **;)** '. Only mere moments passed before Gwen received back a photo from her cousin-in-law, she was in the car still with the lights of passing vehicles illuminating her heart-shaped face. From what Gwen could see, she was wearing a strapless wine-red dress, with transparent layers of red chiffon making up her sleeves and shoulder coverings. Glittery silver stars littered her dress from head-to-toe, matching her silver studded star-earrings. Lucy wore simple winged eyeliner along her violet eyes, and cherry red-lipstick. Lastly her platinum blonde hair was tied up in a bun a the top of her head with a silver, sequin covered bow. ' **I'm ready for our smokin' hot date!**   **;) 333'** Lucy captioned the photo with, causing Gwen to snort aloud in laughter.

Placing her phone down onto her bureau, Gwen made her way back down the stairs to be greeted by the pleasant smell of her finished apple pie warming the house with it's delicious fragrance. Cinnamon and brown sugar wafted through the air, alongside the other delicious scents she associated with the holiday. "Gwendolyn, Sweetie," Lily suddenly rushed to the staircase, looking pale as a ghost. "The guests are going to be here any minutes and I haven't even powdered my nose! Can you greet them while I get ready?"

Gwen nodded effortlessly, "Of course I can." She assured. Sparing no time, her mother returned to her frantic racing, this time up the stairs. Smiling to herself in amusement at her mother's antics, Gwen stood by the door patiently. One by one, family members began to file in. And to each Gwen would greet as politely as she knew her mother would, keeping a keen eye out for either a tall, raven haired man, a petite blonde, or a brunette with a girl on his arm. Yet somehow, in spite of keeping a watchful eye, two arms managed to evade her foresight until they were wrapped securely around her neck in a tight embrace.

"GWENNNNNNN!" Gwen immediately recognized the sugary-sweet voice of her cousin-in-law, Lucy. The ginger happily twisted around in the blonde's arm until she was in the position to return her hug,

"Lucy! You snake, I didn't see you come in!" Gwen snickered, pulling away to see the playful feline-like grin across Lucy's face widen.

"That's cause I went through the back. You never lock it!" Lucy admitted without displaying any signs of remorse. "Honestly, it's almost like you're just begging to get intruders!" Gwen spare her nothing but a roll of her eyes at this comment—It was far from the first time someone had reminded her of this. In truth, it was a conscious choice to leave the back door unlocked; In case a stray cat or two wanted to pay her a visit to mooch off her classroom notes. The two shared a comfortable moment of laughter before Gwen spoke up with a heavy heart,

"Lucy, now that you're here, I've been kinda wanting to talk to you about something…" Her hesitant words caused Lucy to give pause, her once joyful expression was replaced with a solemnly thoughtful one instantaneously. Lucy was never an oblivious girl, while she could never remember the order of historical events in school, she could with perfect accuracy recite in chronological order all of her best friend's past crushes—Relaying both the stories, and the crushes' profile in perfect detail. As a girl not particularly prone to having crushes, the number of stories she had provided for Lucy would be no more than three, and as such she could only imagine Lucy would take personal offence to not hearing of certain additions such as Kevin to her life.

It was only when her Mother Lily descended from the stairs to take Gwen's place as greeter, that Gwen could lead Lucy away in the direction of her room to discuss these delicate issues. Almost parading around Gwen's room as though she herself owned it, Lucy sat at her school desk, spiritedly spinning on her teal SKÅLBERG. Gwen declined to sit in contrasts to Lucy, when faced with extreme anxiety she found it far more comforting not to be seated down—Evidently it was due to the readiness to retreat standing provided her with. "So, what's up?" Lucy inquired sympathetically, staring intently at Gwen with an all too knowing smile.

"Well," Gwen endeavored to look Lucy in the eyes, nevertheless couldn't seem to bring herself to do so. "Recently, about a month ago… I started seeing someone." She then proceeded to brace for her uncertain reaction,

"I know." It came quite plainly, as though it were the most simple thing she could have said; All the while a remorseful tang interluded her words. Gwen could only gape in shock at the blonde's response, it could not have been possible her mother had already gone around blabbing her news? Who else knew? Gwen was trapped in a limbo between confusion and panic. Seemingly picking up on this mudded emotion, Lucy continue as she pulled her phone out from her bra(A storage technique Gwen didn't know whether to question, or commend her for.). "You and Ben hardly ever use Instagram regularly, but I still keep close tabs on the two of you. When I saw Ben was tagged in like a bazillion of this random Japanese girl's photos with captions like: 'Out with bae' and 'I luv him!', I was led to assume Ben finally got himself a girlfriend; And since you guys tend to do things in pairs, I assumed you found yourself a significant other as well."

Gwen exhaled a partially, if at all a relieved breath, "If you knew, why didn't you say anything?" The ginger asked.

"I wanted you to tell me, duh." Lucy enlightened akin to it being the most obvious statement ever uttered in the history of English. Gwen smiled affectionately at Lucy, she felt honored to have such a loyal friend. She could only hope her loyalty wouldn't be swayed by the identity of her boyfrie-"I'm not stupid though." Lucy's voice interrupted Gwen's thoughts by way of her serious tone. "You? Over  _him_? And when did that happen exactly? And more importantly, why?"

Gwen hastily looked away, fearful Lucy would see the truth in her eyes. "He's a really good guy, when he asked me out I-" Again Lucy cut her off, whereas Gwen had a terrible habit of biting her lip, Lucy's was interrupting others(She often defended such a habit by arguing that the other person hadn't something intelligent to say otherwise).

"Does he recite shake sphere for you despite hating the genre himself?"

"He doesn't have to." Gwen argued cautiously.

"And  _he_  didn't have to, he wanted to, because he loved you…" Lucy argued back, her voice never once raised to Gwen. She knew the depths of her hidden feelings, and it was for this Gwen couldn't help but resent her.  _Why couldn't she just allow her to move on?_  For the second time that day, Lucy seemed to have read Gwen's mind. "It's become far too main stream for people to date simply due to the slightest of attraction. I theorize it's a great deal of what leads to divorce; I mean, you're stuck in a relationship built on meaningless things, how else could it possibly go?" Gwen didn't reply, she was content to stare complacently at the floor, It was due to this silence Lucy decided to gift her with one last statement. "What I'm trying to say is… Gwen… Don't settle for less. Be picky, expect more, and wait until you find someone who fits that criteria; Someone you could truly spend the rest of your life with, without having to preform mental gymnastics to conquer up one."

Her words held meaning, as well as semblance of truth. Gwen knew that, she knew it all too well. Her pickiness when it came to significant other's was once something she put as high priority in relations to romance.  _Mental gymnastics_ … She had used those words before, surely. It was probably when she refuted unintelligible arguments, stating the opponent had to twist information in their brain to have come to a certain conclusion… was she really doing the same? It wasn't something she wanted to consider, she pleaded with whatever deity or moderator of her life to give her some sort of direction to her madness. And direction came by the tone of  _Dearly Beloved_. Reaching for her phone from the bureau, the ginger found a text from previously mention boyfriend reading:  **'I'm here, where r u?'**

"He's here." Gwen informed Lucy, who hadn't averted her eyes once from Gwen.

"Introduce him to me then." The blonde said, raising from the chair to stroll towards Gwen. Extending her hand for Gwen to take, a welcoming and accepting kindness radiating in her ever luminous, violet eyes. Muting to the best of her abilities the loud screams of confusion in the back of her mind, Gwen took the hand of cousin-in-law's hand, gently tugging on it to lead her back downstairs to join in the rest of their family's festivities.

It was lurid, crowded, and most of all heated from the amount of bodies standing present. Nevertheless, being the slim and agile young ladies they were, the two easily maneuvered through the crowd like water through a strainer. While doing so, the ginger of the two searched the crowd for a tall figure with prominent shoulders and black hair. Coming upon the refreshment table, the two finally found Kevin sipping coral punch beside Ben, and of course, Julie. Gwen was relieved to find Kevin had taken her advice and dressed formally, wearing a short sleeved grey pollo shirt, black dress pants and shoes. Not so fortunately, while Julie was dressed lovely as usual in a deep plum off shoulder dress, Ben sported a swamp green hoodie with a two diagonal stripe across it, black jeans and sneakers. If it were possible, vapors would be spouting from her ears like a steam-engine train. "BENJAMIN KIRBY TENNYSON! How many times do I have to remind you ever single, godforsaken year to dress FORMALLY FOR CHRISTMAS?!" Gwen screeched in a untamable fury, vehemently grasping her cousin by his collar. If he hadn't been taller than her(By a few inches, mind you), she would have surely lifted him off the ground with her force of sheer will.

Ben stifled out hangdog laughter, "This is more comfortable." He fortified, using the same words he had every single year erstwhile. "Come on, cous, it's Christmas!" No amount of puppy-dog eyes from anyone could have any effect of Gwen, she had a will of molten steel. Nevertheless, his gravity-defying chestnut hair, and big emerald eyes in that moment were somehow able to coax her… Seeing him like that brought her back to times of old nostalgia, thus for this, Gwen released him from her iron grip.

"Just this once, Doofus. Next year will be a different story, so don't force my hand." Gwen threatened, sneaking him her middle finger away from the views of any passing by relatives.

"How ladylike." Ben mused sarcastically,

"Bite me, Tennyson." Gwen growled back menacingly. Cheekily Ben bared his teeth at her, an action that earned a jab to the stomach from her—Not hard enough to hurt him, but unquestionably enough to silence his ridiculous capers.

"Gwen!" Julie greeted smiling sheepishly, as though she felt bad for taking amusement in their childish display. "It's so good to see you, again! I love your hair!"

Gwen smiled back sweetly, long gone were her fierce and barbaric ways. "Aww, thanks Julie! It's just a little dry shampoo, really! It's your dress I love more!" She complimented back, initiating a back and forth between the two of compliment after compliment. It took Kevin stepping in for the train of never-ending affirmation to come to a halt.

"I hope you don't mind, but I haven't gotten to greet my girlfriend yet." Kevin said, placing a hand on Gwen's waist—A action she hadn't known how to respond to, so as such did nothing.

"Hey, Kev. Sorry I took so long, I was catching up with my cousin-in-law; Speaking of which, Kevin, I want you to meet Lucy. Lucy, this is Kevin Levin, my boyfriend." Gwen presented, gesturing the one to the other respectively. Kevin politely extended his hand, and Lucy in turn opportunely recognized the gesture; Smiling widely at each other.

"Man! I've been waiting for this day for so long!" Lucy proclaimed in sing-song tone, giggling like a child on Christmas… probably because she nearly was—Christmas eve, more specifically. Kevin raised a intrigued, yet amused eyebrow.

"Is that so?" He inquired, shooting a inquisitive look to Gwen that practically said out loud: ' _What did you say to her about me_?'. Gwen remained wordless, nevertheless she offered him knowing eyes.

"Oh yes! It is a personal mission of mine to find my besties the perfect soul mates, I'll have you know!" Lucy informed him seriously… Or at the very least as seriously as one could take the self-appointed whims of a matchmaker. "It puts my heart at ease to hear my sweet, ruby haired maiden has finally been swept off her feet!"

Gwen blushed deeply in mortification, "Lucy!" She hastily scolded, completely overlooking how utterly entertained the grin across Kevin's face was increasingly becoming.

"So you've been matchmaking for Gwen, have you? Now this is something I got to hear!" Kevin pried, pouring himself another cup of punch. Lucy gave a flamboyant giggle, no, an  **evil**  chortle! She was a she-devil! Gwen tried to sneak her as many conceivable beseeching guises as she possibly could, but either Lucy did not see them, or simply chose not to. The latter, sadly, was far more likely.

"Well, you see, believe it or not, Gwen is a huge nerd for Shakespeare, just recite a little to her, and just like that: She's head over heels!" Lucy initiated to elucidate, driving Gwen to the brink of desperation. In a last ditch effort to save herself from perpetual humiliation—And whatever else Lucy would decide to reveal—Gwen shoved Lucy's present into her face.

"Merry Christmas, Lucy!" Gwen announced gawkily, perspiration rolling down her temple like rain as she prayed the blonde would take the bait. Luckily for her, Lucy's eyes immediately lit up at the sight of the large gift bag in the color pink. Wasting no time, she dug into it, retrieving the transparent Ita Back-pack, as well as the six dozen lint chocolates Gwen by some means succeeded to cram within it.

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh, Gwen! How'd you know I wanted one of these?" Lucy cried tears of gratitude after drawing Gwen into another one of her suffocating hugs. Contentment was returned to Gwen as not only did she manage to successfully change the subject, but also achieve triumph in bringing a smile to her dear friend's face with another present. Accepting her hug, the two pulled away so that Lucy could hand Gwen a small box herself. It was wrapped in royal blue velvet, per a small white ribbon on top to keep it closed. Slowly, with great anticipation, Gwen opened the small carton to discover a thin silver plate bracelet. Incised on the innermost side were the words, ' _Time is very slow for those who wait, very fast for those who are scared, very long for those who lament, very short for those who celebrate. But for those who love, time is eternal._ ' It twinkled beautifully disregarding the inadequately cheap kitchen lights, only to begin to blur through Gwen's vision. Beads of blisteringly hot tears landed onto its lustrous surface as Gwen miserably struggled to perceive through her lamentation while clipping on the bracelet. In spite of the fact the man was confused profusely, Kevin aided Gwen in clipping the bracelet to her wrist, his gentlemanly act earning himself a thankful smile from her.

"Thank you Lucy, this is too much." Gwen admitted, her voice weak from her incapacitating emotions. Somehow, despite spending weeks searching through countless online Japanese stores for the illusive Ita back-packs Lucy was fond of liking the Facebook pages around, Gwen felt as though her gift for Lucy could not even bat an eye at the attention to detail put into the one she received.

Lucy waved her off before joyously accepting another hug from Gwen, "You're welcome, my sweet ruby haired maiden. You enjoy Christmas with your new boyfriend, in the mean time I have another cousin to give a gift to, adieu!" Just as Lucy mentioned it, she realized at some point Ben and Julie must have snuck off, Gwen shamefully hadn't noticed. She hadn't the time to stress over the ordeal, however as Lucy confidently strolled away Kevin stepped back into her line of vision. His onyx eyes staring intently at her.

"Don't think I've forgotten you," Gwen smirked, turning away from him to grab the gift she had hidden away in a nearby cupboard, she delicately handed him a small mix-tape. "You're always complaining about how there's never anything good on your cars radio, but stubbornly refuse to replace the vintage machinery; So I thought I'd make you an compromise. It has all your favorite tracks on it, and a few I thought you might like."

"Thanks, Gwen." He said as sincerely as he could, it was as though he had never received something so thoughtful; Such a possibility despaired Gwen. In hopes of lightening the mood, she gave the tall man the warmest, and kind hug she could muster. Eventually after slipping the tape into his pocket, he slung him own arms around her to return the embrace.

Giving a deep sigh, Kevin spoke after what seemed like an eternity in silence. "I'm sorry, I didn't get you anything…" Gwen shook her head, face still against his chest she rose her muffled voice,

"I don't give to get, having friends is enough. Having you is enough." She meant it. No word she spoke was a lie, she truly meant what she said. She undoubtably valued Kevin's friendship, over the past month their friendship had developed into something she didn't want to end. What caused her to despair was the looming notion she tried to ignore with all her strength, she couldn't seem to bring herself to fall in love with him. It was what she wanted, if she simply could then she wouldn't feel as lonely as she did at every passing moment. And yet, no effort could sway her ever stubborn emotions. Her emotions were stuck squarely in the past, standing at the ruins of the Bellwood bridge. The suffocating smell of gasoline, the broken glass littering the inverted ceiling below her, the ruble outside those RV windows, the heated breaths she shared, the quick pace of her heart, the metallic scented liquid spilling down her forehead, the warm and safe arms around her protecting her from the impact… Emotionally, she was still in that RV, immobilized firmly to the blame in her Grandfather's grave yard like shackles to her feet.

"Julie! Wait!" Ben's abrupt voice reverberated into Gwen's ears, alerting her back to reality. Both startled by the outbreak, Kevin and Gwen took a step back to observe the discourse. Running down the stairs, a certain Japanese lass rushed out the door, ignoring any and all calls of her boyfriend. Struggling to keep up, Ben couldn't convince Julie to stay in time, she had already boarded her motorbike and drove away, leaving Ben standing in the driveway of his aunt and Uncle's house.

Kevin whispered questions to her, however all Gwen could see was the glimpse of tears running down Julie's face. Thus, politely Gwen excused herself to follow her cousin and his girlfriend out the door, leaving Kevin to watch perplexingly. "I hope everything's okay with them, I really liked that Julie girl." Lucy stated, startling Kevin with her sudden appearance. Back pedaling with start, Lucy couldn't help but snicker at his reaction. "If it too late to say boo?"

Kevin tried to regain his composure, "Lucy, I didn't see you there." He greeted her formally, if what Gwen said was true, then he intended to leave her cousin-in-law with the best possible impression he could. His relationship with the woman of his dreams was at stake after all. The blonde's knowing look, however clued him into her knowledge of his motives to his polite manner. "So, you were saying something earlier about Gwen, yeah? What was it, just curious…?" Not only was he trying to divert the subject, he was genuinely curious about Gwen's tastes as well.

Lucy twirled strands of gold around her fingers as she glanced contemplatively at him, it was the sort of smile in the same vein of the one a cat would give the mouse it bat around playfully. "Curious are you?" She brayed, "I suppose they all would be. The illusive Gwendolyn Tennyson, so many wondered if she would ever find love; Some even began to suspect she didn't swing that way." Kevin couldn't comprehend why it was only now that Lucy seemed to purposefully avoid her prior bluntness, and seeming to read his mind once again she continued. "With Gwen not being here, I'm not going to go out of my way to tease her. But since it's the two of us, let me be the first to say, the Tennyson family has always been a secretive one. Tread lightly." It was nothing short of a threat, and despite having been threatened countless times before, Kevin couldn't quite determine if she intended him any ill will or not.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He demanded, careful not to draw far too much attention to himself. Lucy wasn't intimidated in the least by him strangely, she simply bat her long eyelashes innocently, a guise all too similar to the lack of intimidation Ben proudly displayed to him.

"You might think they don't know, but I'd stake my life on the fact that they  _do_  know about the little thing you did." Her vice lowered several octaves, succeeding to very nearly intimidate the tall man himself; If it were not for the fact he held numerous feet over her head. "But, I doubt they'll ever say anything because, believe it or not, you're not the only person in the world who seeks out others to distract themselves from what they know they are."

Offended by the implications in the choice of words she used, Kevin opened his mouth to retort—Even if he knew she spoke truth. Nonetheless found himself coming short of a clever remark, she was right about him…  _She couldn't have been right about anyone else… could she?_

* * *

"Hey, Doofus. What happened?" Gwen greeted as she took a seat beside Ben on her front deck. Light flurries of snow fell around them gracefully, the sheer chill of the weather turned Gwen's nose a shade of pink. She had to dawn her heaviest winter coat to sit out there, and yet Ben refused to move from his spot in spite of his hoodie being his only source of warmth. She tried to offer Ben one of her father's winter jackets, but upon making contact with the wool lined material, Ben scooted away from her; His eyes ever glued to the road in an intensely thoughtful expression.

"I hurt Julie, it's my fault. I deserve this. I deserve to spend the night in weather almost as cold as my heart." Ben bemused dramatically, however, he meant none of what he said dramatically. He took everything he said with sincere severity.

"…Hurt her?" Gwen gently inquired of him, attempting not to spook him into dismissing her all together. For just a moment, she wanted him to tear his gaze from the road, if what he said was true, Julie was not coming back… Ben nodded sadly, guilt apparent in his face. It was as though for this very reason he chose not to speak. Gwen hated to see such distress in her dear cousin's face, whether he knew it or not, the distance that grew between them bothered her more than she would have liked it to. Watching his lips deepen into a frown only made her wish to see them invert into a smile; That stupid, goofy smile he shamelessly showed off for all to see. Praying to return that smile back to her face, Gwen drew the heavy weight for her pocket—She planned to wait until Christmas day to give it to him his present, but then again now seemed better than any. Presenting the boy with a single telescope lens, Ben motionlessly gazed at the gift, "Merry Christmas… eve… It's the last piece." Eight years ago, on a Christmas just like this, their Grandfather gave Ben a telescope, but as the years went by and the old artifact aged progressively, Gwen began to each year give Ben pieces to replace the old one's with; This was the last piece. However, just that once Ben did not accept the gift.

"If I use that, then there will truly be nothing left of Grandpa Max…" Ben explained solemnly, a great burden on his heart displayed within his dark eyes.

"It's what Grandpa would have wanted, I think…" Gwen told him thoughtfully, she too had thought it over. Theseus' Ship, a paradox to use in their favor. She wanted to move on, she wanted him to move on too, so piece by piece she intended to do away with the past. "He would have wanted us to move on and make better lives, better telescopes.. no need for the past…"

"No, I think…" He ran a hand through his hair in frustrating as he struggled to string words together coherently, "I'm still trapped… In that time…" Somehow, it only took six words for Gwen's world to pause. The snow was static midair, the loud ramble of the crowd inside had instantly gone mute, and all at once Gwen became all too aware of her breathing. "I can't move on. And that's what scares me… And that's why I hurt Julie… She didn't want to be a part of all—Of all the unforgivable shit I've done! How could I ever expect her to be." No. No.  **NO**.  **NO. NO**. Gwen didn't want to hear this, no! She spent so long stuffing, and pushing, and hiding, and banishing all those memories away. It was supposed to be only her who still thought about it. It was her fault! Her blame! No one could know! Julie couldn't know! Kevin couldn't know! Nobody could know!

"Please, stop… I don't want to think about it." Gwen pleaded weakly, tears were threatening to pour down her face. She was vulnerable, Ben made her vulnerable, he promised never to tell! He PROMISED! "Please…"

"… You think I want to?" Ben demanded feebly, jumping to his feet without warning. She knew his eyes, she had seen them almost everyday of her life, there was no expression in them Gwen could not decipher… however, an enigmatic shimmer glazed over is jaded irises. She didn't recognize that look. "You think you're the only one trying to forget? You think you're the only one trying to forcefully make yourself move on? Because you're not! I'm just as shallow as you, Gwen!" Ben took a deep breath, seemingly trying to catch hold of his emotions, but struggled to. The evident emotion Gwen could not decipher across his face overpowering any sense of self-restraint, the flood gates had finally opened for Ben. "I know you go through every day trying to distract yourself from the guilt, you're always the best at school, everyone loves you, you even finally hooked up with some loser-"

"Hey! Kevin's a great guy!" Gwen interrupted defensively, Ben continued in spite of her outbursts,

"Yeah, you keep telling yourself that, Gwen.  _Don't waste your love on somebody, who doesn't value it._  I tried to do that, I drown myself in athletic activities, I make friends out of my enemies, and I tried to like a girl… It stupid because I had somehow convinced myself I was okay with how my life was, that I was fucking content! BUT I WASN'T! I'M SO FUCKING SICK OF LIVING IN GUILT! It's wasn't our fault! IT WASN'T OUR FAULT! I shouldn't have to feel like this every day, to feel like a sick and shitty human being more so than I already do for something so… so stupid!" His words pierced her like a million swords, penetrating her entire being. Her form was rendered limp by them, losing grip on the telescope; It fell freeform into the snow below them to be forgotten by both. It mattered not that they were both in hysterical tears, it was silently decided between the two as they both wept there was no need to acknowledge the water works. "I know you grieve over it… feeling like it's your fault… but you know what's so sick about me? I don't feel bad. I don't feel remorse for what you want me to, Grandpa's six feet under now and I don't care… I'm still mad at him, after all these years. What a jackass, right? I really  _am_  the worst. Because Gwen… I… I lo…" He struggled to express the emotions weighing heavily on him.

Quiet passed between them, Ben roughly, wiping his eyes raw, removed the remaining tears he had left to shed. "I loathe you Gwen, I loathe you so much. Your existence alone haunts me, you're the bane of my existence. You should have been on my side Gwen, but you weren't. You would much rather agonize over a deed not committed by you! We made a choice that day, it may have led to his death, but it was the old man's fault in the end! NOT OURS! But I know… I  **know** , I will never be able to convince you… And that's what I loathe about you so much Gwen… Is even though I should just give up on you and move on from Grandpa… I can't." Notwithstanding his last action, another tear fell from his eyes. He closed them to forbid further downpour. "I just can't…"

"Ben…" Gwen whispered softly, without words other than his name to express, time around her returned to as it once was. With the snow falling around them, and Jack Frost nibbling at their noses. Before returning back inside, finally losing any hope of seeing his now deemed ex-girl's return, Ben graced Gwen with a single glance, and stray words,

"I didn't tell her about Grandpa… okay? When I promised to keep it secret… I meant it. And I'd never break that promise to you…" No further words were spoken between them for the rest of the night, let alone the smallest acknowledgement of the other. Nor the Telescope lens still laying bare in the flurries of snow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there you have it! Have I gotten your attention yet? (haha) I don't know if it's obvious yet, but there's a LOT going on behind the scenes from years past, which will be expanded on... IN LATER CHAPTERS! Muhahahahaha! Look forward to that, next week! Anyways, tell me what you thought about it if you'd like, or favorite/Kudos I don't care! I love you guys, bye!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looks like my last chapter got quite the reaction! I love having lots of mysteries! It's too bad I'm only planning to add to that, Muhahahahaha! Enjoy friends!
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN BEN 10! OR ALL THE REFERENCES I MAKE.
> 
> I use themes from these works so slight spoilers: Ben 10(OG), Ben 10: Alien Force, Ben 10: Ultimate Alien, Ben 10 Comics(Yes they exist! And are cute, check 'em out.) Shakesphere! Lots and lots of it!

Kevin wasn't sure whether or not Gwen knew it herself, but Kevin noticed she had the horrible habit of biting her lip whenever she was nervous. There were times he was tempted to reach across the table at Mr. Smoothie's to stop her from making herself bleed, her lips quite honestly looked like they hurt, it nearly made him feel bad for wanting to bite them himself; Keyword being  _almost_. Either way, it had already been a week since the Christmas Party and Gwen had yet to break out of whatever bind she was in. True to her word, she still made time for their meetings, but apart from that seemed to be out of it—Something had to be personally bothering her. While Kevin wanted to know what it was, with the overwhelming worry she was growing tired of him, another side of him thought it would be better to keep his distance from the matter. Both sounded like the most respectful, and most selfish options simultaneously. It was never his intention to be a bad boyfriend, but then again he wasn't exactly familiar with her methods of  _taking it steady_. In all his past relationships, they were all filled with thoughtlessly, impulsive ecstasy, and constant fighting. Above and beyond physical attraction and a sex drive, he had no attachment to them; Gwen was his first attempt at finding a long lasting partner, she was smart, thoughtful, and all together beautiful—In his eyes she was ideal, and additionally to her child bearing hips, conversations with her were always interesting. He wasn't ready to let anything come between him and this single shred of luck to come of him.

Then again, a part of him wondered if she was ready for their relationship, let alone even wanted it. As far as he could tell, she was enjoying their dates and the time the spent together, but he wished she would show some signs of physical interest in him; He knew better than to expect anything past the level of a chaste kiss, but even that seemed forbidden with her. She hadn't even seemed all that embarrassed when she invited him into her bed-room to work on homework. While it was on casual terms to, as stated before, work on homework, Kevin had expected her to be embarrassed by him taking a seat on her bed. Instead she retained her unaffected poker face as she elegantly answered the questions assigned to them in humanities class. Every once in a while, Gwen would tear her eyes away from the papers to give Kevin advice, or an answer to a difficult question—and if he was lucky, a random joke pertaining to the lesson. It really should not have surprised Kevin as much as it did that all they did was study—especially not when that was why she invited him over—but it seemed so obvious to him that they would somehow turn it into a date. Kevin wouldn't have tried to coerce her into anything sexual, but cuddling with a good Netflix series would have sufficed. It was only then, when his eyes reached a photo on her shelf that a realization came to him. "Have you ever dated anyone before me, Gwen?" It was a picture of Gwen, no older than ten, surrounded by a group of other children her age at what looked like a space camp (seeing as it was written in large yellow letters behind them.). Noticeably about the picture was not the older man behind her he could have assumed was her grandfather, nor a ten year-old Ben included in the picture. What was so incredibly notable to Kevin was the boy with blonde hair, and blue eyes beside her with his arm around her, and hers around him in suite. The two seemed to simply beam at the other with a glee he couldn't help but find himself envious of, he wanted Gwen to smile at him like that as well. However, as beautiful as the smiles she'd share with him were, they could never compare.

Judging by the sudden lack of audible scribbling of Gwen's pen, he had successfully retrieved her attention. After a long drawn out silence, she slowly turned her head in his direction—A empty expression playing her features. "No." After saying what she intended to, she returned her attention to the assignments before her. Unfortunately for her, that answer wasn't enough for Kevin.

"Who's the blonde kid in this photo?" Kevin asked as innocently, and unsuspiciously as he possibly could. Gwen didn't even raise her head this time to answer him, she already knew the exact boy he spoke of,

"Leo."

Kevin raised his brows curiously. Her response was so quick, and presented with such a monotone voice, so unlike the normal Gwen he was most acquainted with. His stomached churned with a new found jealousy, more intense and toxic than the one he felt when Ben protectively sheltered her from him in the theater. It ate away at his insides like a hungry beast, just begging to be set free and given free rein to her; But he kept such feelings at bay, for the time being. He couldn't let himself lose him temper over a simple assumption, Gwen could never love him like that. "Were you two close?" He bit out a little harsher than he initially intended to.

Sadly, he had not received the answer he would have liked to from her. "I wouldn't say that… just…  _friends_." Gwen informed him discreetly, her hands fidgeting with the ends of her textbook's pages nervously.

"Just friends, huh? So then you really never have liked anyone before?" Kevin pried, struggling to read the empty expression plastered across her face. It was beginning to get on his nerves the way Gwen resisted displaying any semblance of interest in their conversation, wasn't she supposed to reassure him that he was the only one she could ever love? It was utterly frustrating, he wasn't expecting all that much!

"That's sort of a complicated question, Kev." Gwen said so softly it bordered on a whisper. "Liking someone, and dating someone aren't exactly the same thing…"

"True. So then, you liked this Leo, didn't you?" Kevin impatiently asked, a second more and he would've asked more forthright than he already was. His frustration wasn't helped any either when the smallest amount of red hue warmed the apples of her cheeks. "… Do you still like him?" He spoke lower this time than he had prior, it was the tone of voice he would only use to intimidate or threaten, but at that point he was only trying to keep himself from committing any action he might regret later. Jealousy, and anger were never a good combination for Kevin.

"Of course not… I was only ten I didn't realize it was just that I…" Gwen trailed off, deciding not to finish that trail of thought out loud. Even still Gwen had yet to catch onto Kevin's current disposition, and furthermore displeasure. "It's honestly something I'd rather forget." Kevin couldn't agree with her more, he too favored the prospect of forgetting whatever loser she might have liked in the past, focusing all her attention on him was certainly what he preferred. Nevertheless, her words were insufficient in quelling his frustrations. Surely she still thought back to that boy, otherwise why else would she struggle becoming close to him? That blush she had shown, it wasn't for him, but for that  _Leo_  kid. Just thinking his name was enough peeve him, why Leo? Why couldn't it be him she thought of? He needed her, not Leo. That much was obvious to Kevin.

"Is it really that impossible to love me Gwen?" Never in a million years did Gwen think she would hear such words spoken again, and yet she did; Not from the mouth she thought she would though. Instead it was her boyfriend Kevin Levin, whom she loved very much—But acknowledged to whom she didn't love in the way he wanted her to. For that she knew she was truly cruel, she wanted to love him more, she wanted to express that much to Kevin—But how could she? She could now see he desperately wanted her to love him like a lover, and not like the best friend as she did. His onyx eyes burned with desire for her, and yet it was not a passion she returned to the same extent. She had yet to reach that point, his unaware echoing of another's words only reminded her of that clear truth. "Is it because I blew up the Bellwood bridge eight years ago?"

Gwen's throat went dry. Eight years ago, that was a time she did not want to think back to, despite doing on a daily basis. It was not as though she wanted to, but at the very least thinking back to the explosion was something she did a decent job of repressing from her memories. She didn't deserve to be ridiculed, she overlooked the involvement she knew he had in the bridge's downfall, and yet she still felt a sense of guilt. She did not look down on Kevin for his past misdeeds, even if she could have. She couldn't bring herself to throw the first stone, when she herself has had her fair share of sinful acts—Especially eight years ago. "… I don't blame you for that, Kev." Gwen assured him gingerly, all the while unable to look him in the eyes.

"Then why do I feel as if you do? Because you can! I blew up that bridge to reap the riches the train crossing it would provide. I was that low Gwen, if you hate me for that I wouldn't blame you; Just say it to my face!" Kevin exclaimed, both angerly and despairingly. Gwen could see it clear as day in his face, even with only her peripheral view to look through: He meant every word.

"But I don't blame you." Gwen said once again, Kevin ignored her words; It could not have been that simple, he was certain of it!

"I'm a delinquent! My little stunt was hardly little, it killed nearly a hundred people! If you couldn't trust me I un-" This time it was Gwen who cut him off of his rant, at last meeting his eyes with an intense gaze within the depths of her emerald green eyes.

"My grandfather,  _Grandpa Max_  as we called him… He died when the bridge collapsed on the RV we were in. I would've died too if it were not for being in the far back of the vehicle." The ginger haired girl explained solemnly, and judging by the weakness in her voice Kevin could deduce the old man to whom she mentioned was close to her. A emptiness seemed to dwell in his stomach, he recognized the feeling: Guilt. He had practically indirectly killed her Grandfather, and if his deductions were correct knew this long before dating him—Why else would have her suspicious cousin-in-law, Lucy have mentioned it? It perplexed him that with such knowledge she would ever consider him. "I loved Grandpa Max, I love him so much even now… but… I had a hand in the reason why he died… and it is for that reason I refuse to give you blame." Gwen stood from her seat, and slowly strode over her bed where he sat. His heart began to speed its pace, but was returned to its comfortable pace when she simply wrapped her arms around him in a embrace. "You and I aren't so different, we might possess many different attributes, but I know for a fact we have both done things we would prefer to forget about… I'm not sure if you've managed to forget all of your demons, but I haven't yet… please give me the time to try.."

The emptiness in Kevin's stomach seemed to well up with an overwhelmingly warm feeling as he returned her embrace. Relishing in her sweet scent entering his nostrils, as well as the feeling of his hands entangled in her hair. He wanted nothing more than to kiss her in that moment, yet decided to give her the respect of waiting for her to conquer whatever demons she referred to; It was only fair as she did the same for him. Eventually when he parted from her embrace to leave, she offered to walk him out but he simply declined. All his conversation with her managed to accomplish was cement his strong feelings for her, he felt stupid for ever doubting her love. Though, apart of him was still uncomfortable with the inkling of that  _Leo_  boy; He didn't favor continuing without being given more context, sure Gwen said she didn't want to dwell on the topic, but that did little to dwindle his curiosity.

Kevin abruptly was ripped away from these thoughts as the sound of footsteps reached his ears on the stairs down from Gwen's room. If memory served, Gwen had informed him her parents weren't returning home until later that night; He recalled this piece of information well due to initially being gleeful at the thought of them being alone… and yet now, the sound of someone scurrying around Gwen's house put Kevin on edge. Silently pacing himself in the direction of which the sound came from, Kevin took a fighting stance—ready to beat up whatever fool had the guts to break into  _his_  girlfriend's house. Only to reveal a familiar chestnut haired boy with eyes similar to his girlfriend's. Of course it had to be her cousin… "Tennyson? What are you doing here?" Kevin demanded quietly, not wishing to alert Gwen to her unknown visitor.

Ben quickly stuffed a spoon full of what looked like apple pie into his mouth, "It's almost been a week! Leftovers are by law up for grabs now!" Ben argued quite childishly, clutching the entire pie dish to himself protectively—Despite Kevin not even wanting, let alone liking pie.

"That doesn't justify breaking into your own cousin's house, for what? PIE?" Kevin barked, he almost found it hilarious how utterly ridiculous the whole ordeal was. Key word of course being: Almost.

Ben gasped in horror, "This isn't just any pie! This is Gwen's special Apple-cinnamon-crumble-pie! She only ever makes it at her mom's Christmas eve parties!" The boy informed Kevin quite seriously, "She makes it with a secret ingredient! I'm telling you it's the best pie you'd ever taste!"

While Kevin never thought of himself to be a pie person, and wasn't all too appreciative of Ben's diversions, hearing his precious girlfriend had cooked the pastries did wonders to distract his interest. "Did she? Hey, let me have some-" Kevin began, but Ben just as defensively drew the tin closer to himself once again selfishly.

"Finders keepers, losers weepers!" Ben hissed, his juvenile behavior reminding Kevin of the initial purpose of approaching his lower classmate. He knit his brows together as a glared at Ben,

"That doesn't answer my question! You realize breaking and entering is a crime, right?" Kevin demanded harshly, applying an authoritative tone to his words. But at no point did the shorter of the two appear intimidated in the least,

"Oh puh-lease. If Gwen didn't appreciate your quote 'breaking and entering', she wouldn't always leave the back-door unlocked." Ben argued, his playfulness resisting Kevin's attempts to express the severity of the situation to him. First Kevin internally made a note to remind Gwen of the importance of home security, then he put forth more effort into communicating in his glare to Ben: 'Leave-this-place-and-don't-break-into-my-girlfriend's-house-again-and-also-leave-the-pie.'. Whether or not Ben received the message was unclear until he continued, "Look, me and you both know how much of a worry wort Gwen is. I come and go all the time, have since I was ten, there's really no need for you to get all guard-dog on me. I won't do anything."

His reassurance failed at its purpose to reassure, in fact it only recapped Kevin on something he didn't quite want to think about:  _Ben knew Gwen better than he did_. While it was obvious to Kevin that as her cousin Ben was far from a love rival, but the sheer knowledge that he was closer to her than him brought back that toxic jealousy in the pit of his stomach he felt mere minutes ago. He had every intention to marry that freckled face red-head with the gorgeous green eyes, he already started to think of the names of the children they would have; Yet somehow, he felt as though he was placed at an arm's reach from her. First there was her obnoxiously juvenile cousin he simply could not figure out! None of the tricks he had acquired over the years to assert dominance did any good to strike fear in him, he would always look at Kevin as though he was just another kid… a little kid who he had no reason to fear. It was odd to Kevin, because at times, it was as though he too had some secret past, he could see an peculiar darkness in his eyes he could not decrypt—It almost scared him. And then there was the aforementioned Leo, the very same Leo Kevin was certain was always on her mind—The reason she could not bring herself to be intimate with him outside of the common benefits of friendship. What did this Leo have that he didn't? If the evidence proved anything, this relationship happened nearly eight years ago. They were only ten! It was time she learned to get over it and see who her real soulmate was, what could possibly be so hard about that? Was there more he didn't know?

"Tell me Tennyson… did you know a boy named Leo once?" Kevin's question received little reaction until the word Leo left his lips, at that moment, the stuffing of Ben's mouth came to a sudden halt. Kevin smiled covertly to himself at this reaction, it intrigued him to say the least.

"… A long time ago I did…" Ben answered in a quietly thoughtful voice, though the long tuffs of hair hanging in his face shielded Kevin from his facial features, and furthermore reactions. All he had to go off of was the monotone of his voice. "But I never liked the guy, he was a know-it-all leader type who wouldn't shut up about useless astrology facts, or reciting Shakespeare."

The mere mention of Shakespeare reminded Kevin of his previous conversation with the mysterious blonde named Lucy, he couldn't help but conclude Leo to be the reason for her obsession with the poet. "Shakespeare, huh?" Kevin probed curiously, wishing to know more about that bastard Leo.

Ben nodded slightly, "Yeah, but like  _anyone_  can recite Shakespeare! It's really not all that impressive, Gwen seemed to think so. They were close."

Anger boiled in Kevin, the increasing jealousy testing his wits. "How close?" Kevin asked through gritted teeth and clenched fists.

"They never kissed, not once. Between you and me, I think it'd be wise to take what you've been given and roll with it; somethings are better left… forgotten." Ben suggested, and for a moment the raven haired man mistook it for a threat. The strange hints of sadness in ben's voice communicated otherwise to Kevin, they lost their grandfather that summer, Kevin hated to sympathize with Ben but he too likely had his trauma from the incident.

Kevin licked his lips as he tried to display a more sympathetic expression. "Sorry for all the questions, I guess I'm just curious about Gwen…" He didn't want to make an enemy of someone so close to his girlfriend, in spite of how much it killed him that the wimp boy was closer to her than he. "There's still a lot I don't know about her, and with her being so closed off…" He trailed off nervously, hoping Ben would take the bait and pick up the conversation for him.

And luckily Ben did… just not in the way he expected him to. "I have yet to meet someone as complex as my cousin, Kevin. She could be an open book and you'd still have yet to scrap the surface on her as a person. Stop focusing on what she once was,  _we know what we are, but know not what we may be._ Try focusing on what you and her can be, and leave Gwen in peace to forget what she'd prefer not to remember." Never had Kevin thought he would come to hear such wise words from a boy he believed to be a sincere idiot. Yet once again that darkness still in his emerald green eyes as he raised them to make eye contact with him. Though dark as they were, they contained traces of kindness. "You, a criminal, have been blessed with such a kind and special person. Cherish her."

Kevin had a difficult time forming words to reply with, "Thanks… uh, to give it to you straight, I didn't think you were capable of deeper thought." He laughed, the chestnut boy joined in his laughter after a pause. "Really, man. It blows my mind you and your girl ended it, with you being such a  _love expert_." The tall man originally thought Ben and him were strangely getting along, but the humorous atmosphere seemed to darken substantially at his petty joke. It was as though instantly the kindness in Ben's eyes he just witnessed vanished away within the blink of an eye. If it ever were there in the first place, Kevin began to question.

"That has nothing to do with it. Love is about feeling, not knowing. You can know you should love someone and still not love them." Each word from Ben's lips were spoken forthright, and with a strict purpose—No amount of amusement hid within his tone. "My relationship with Julie didn't fail because of a lack of knowledge but a lack of romantic attachment; It's impossible to force yourself to love someone. It was impossible to force myself to love Julie. Plain and simple." He breathed out a long sigh, it was clear as day Ben didn't want to discuss his failed relationship further. Frustrated with himself for reasons Kevin couldn't quite grasp, Ben picked up the pie tin cover before making his way back out the backdoor. Kevin didn't particularly mind him leaving as he was far too awkward to decide on an appropriate response to give in that situation. It was times like those he found himself concerned by the boy's behavior, he may have called him a criminal, but some part of him reconsidered the innocence of his girlfriend's cousin. If his conversation did anything to cement something is Kevin's mind it was Ben was not the idiot he seemed to be, but a boy wise to romance, and very much so likely to be capable of more than he first appeared to be. Kevin would be lying if he said that it didn't concern him little.

Deciding to do as he initially intended to, Kevin finally reached his green mustang in Gwen's parking lot. Hearing the faint trumping of snow in the distance he suspected to be the brunet he spoke to earlier returning home, he flung out his phone to send Gwen a quick text reading: ' **You know you left your back-door unlocked, right?** ' true to his mental note, the text was sent and responded to quickly. ' **Yea, I know. I always leave it unlocked in case someone needs something. :)** ' Kevin smiled to himself, her thoughtfulness never ceased to amaze him. But a part of him wasn't all that fond to the idea of such a suspicious figure having free rein. Not at all…

* * *

Julie could say with confidence that she in fact experienced all six of the stages of grief that weekend. Initially she attended that Christmas party with a unmeasurable amount of excitement, not only was she attending a party as her handsome boyfriend's date, but she would also be introduced to his parents. She was beyond thrilled, it was as though for her Lady luck was smiling down on her—bestowing to her the infinity blessings she always dreamed of. First with the unexpected gift of her long time crush Benjamin Kirby Tennyson asking her, her! Her American friends warned her against performing a love confession to him as it wasn't as common of a practice to do in America as it was in Japan, but she insisted and went for it anyways. While at first it seemed as though not to reap exceptional gains, with him just scratching the back of his neck awkwardly and promising to think about it. And yet! Only a few days later he was the one to invite her on a date! Second, his family was simply wonderful! His cousin whom she would learn to be the school's top student, Gwendolyn Tennyson was a beauty with a delightful personality! It relieved her to know she could get along so well with his relatives, as well as his parents. They were so welcoming to her, offering her food and hugs—Lots of hugs, she soon realized American's had a thing for hugging(Even complete strangers!). The blessings didn't seem to have any ending in sight for her! Ben might have claimed to be an inexperienced kisser, and yet he embellished her with a passion so strong and fierce, she could feel in each pleasurable kiss there was adoration for her.

And then… just as they were laid against the guest room's bed, at his aunt and uncle's party… He moaned a named against her neck… but it  **wasn't**  her name. Instantly, the first stage set it:  **Shock**. It should have been her name, she was the one he was kissing! Nevertheless, it only took a single word for her to realize he wasn't kissing her with a passion he felt for her but another. Her heart ached as though stabbed through with a million daggers, a pain no sword could ever inflict. The ashamed look stretched across his face as he jumped away from her did little to numb the pain; She was the heartbroken one there, the betrayed of the two… Yet, he cried. Sobbed, ashamed of himself, guilty for hurting her. It only reminded Julie of the reason she fell in love with him in the first place, the kindness and wit he offered freely to all. She couldn't bring herself to properly process what he said, it refused to register to her. Someone so kind, funny, clever, and incredibly handsome… was so incredibly cruel.

It couldn't be real, she refused to accept it to be. She ran out the door as fast as she possibly could, both from him and his calling of her name, as well as the realization of his true feelings. She reached the second stage:  **Denial**. With each attempt to block out the memory of another girl's name spoken with such desire, it was only repeated more so. Not even the feeling of the night's chill against her face could freeze her heart and prevent her from melting. She locked herself in her room, she closed every curtain, and buried herself so far into her bedsheets she thought surely then his voice couldn't reach her; But it did, no matter the prevention she attempted to instill. No one gave her a chance when she first arrived at Bellwood private school, but he did. Ben walked straight up to her and shook her hand, flashed her a welcoming smile and showed her around. Without ulterior motives, he showed her kindness for the simple reason as he put it: 'It sucks to be the new kid, I'm just trying to make it suck less.' That was just who he was, and he was wonderful. Tall, and lanky, yet toned(As she observed once at a soccer game of his) with smooth looking skin. Hair that defied all laws of physics, yet simultaneously enchanting to look at as well as enticing to touch, with a pair of irrefutably deep green eyes—a warm, endless ocean of peridot. He was perfect, he  _was_  perfect. He was supposed to be perfect…

It wasn't fair to her! She had everything was going her way, never once was she given a sign that he was anything but perfect. She knew she didn't deserve such heartbreak, everything was moving along swimmingly; She attended all his soccer games, and as many baseball games as she could, and he her tennis matches. After they would go out to a movie, or ice-cream—There were even times they would binge watched Kangaroo Komando together. She remembered it all fondly, how could he in all that be such a monster? Julie did all she could to be the perfect girlfriend, why did he have to ruin it all! She wanted more than anything to hate him, derail him, scorn him, crucify him! But she couldn't, she couldn't bring herself to hate him. Not when the very same memory of him sobbing out endless apologizes plagued her mind ceaselessly. It was so incredibly difficult to hate someone so kind prior, and guilty after. Her experience in the stage of  **Anger**  was the shortest of the six.

However, her decent into  **Bargaining**  was a pit to be crawled out of. She kept thinking to herself phrases such as, 'It might have been a mistake!' and, 'He might actually love me!' but the uncertainty in each prohibited her from believing either. It seemed impossible to her that someone she had admired for so long was so… she didn't even know what word to use from the English thesaurus; 薄情(Hakujou) was all she had to describe it. She would picture him running to her, with arms open wide to embrace her and beg her to love him—And he had texted her as she wished him to, but not pleas for her return. Simply apologies, he didn't ask that she forgive him, nor that she should return to him, only that she know he never wanted to hurt her. And that he was truly remorseful. So, she kept waiting for him to ask for her to love him again as well as proclaiming his undying love for her. She waited, and waited, a whole month. But only apologies were what she was met with. It was his answer: He didn't love her as she desired him to.

This realization lead to the fifth stage:  **Depression**. She spent days on end, lying in bed, hardly paying attention during class, crying herself to sleep each night. At last, in the sight of all that had come of her, she allowed herself to hurt. She allowed herself to cry knowing he knew she might, and he was with remorse. Julie's tears seemed to wash her hearts wounds, cleaning them and allowing them to finally heal. It hurt, she knew no English words to describe her pain, but it was only when she allowed herself to feel the hurt she did that she was finally able to complete the stages, and reach  **Acceptance**. What had happened, happened. Julie knew better than anyone there was no reversing the events that took place that Christmas Eve. It occurred to her he had loved the girl whose name he whispered long before he ever dating her. And in spite of loving that girl, he still spent time with her. Attended ever Tennis match, and offered a shoulder for her to cry on whenever she was in need. Ben Tennyson, was just as she remembered. A kind soul, but a troubled soul; She only wished she saw that sooner. If given the chance, she wouldn't turn down dating him again—Granted he loved her this time. She envied that girl dearly, the kindest, most special boy Julie had ever met was in love with her; She was a lucky girl.

It was at that point, Julie had become aware of another truth. Her Ben, was madly and completely head over heels for a girl he couldn't have. Suddenly, in spite of herself she felt a sense of sympathy for him. Loving someone already in love with another ached, she knew that feeling all too well. The phrase, 'It sucks to be the new kid, I'm just trying to make it suck less.' Rang through her head, only this time as: 'It sucks to be in unrequited love, I'm just trying to make it suck less.'. Yes, Benjamin Kirby Tennyson, the boy to whom she adored so much didn't deserve that pain either. But she hadn't the intention to fix his romance, she knew it was something he needed to do with his own power; Instead of dating other girls in the attempt to forget another. He had to learn to face his problems head on, instead of stuffing away any feelings he felt—No matter how ashamed he was of them, not as though she blamed him. He truly loved someone he couldn't have, while searching the English dictionary for a word that would express such emotions Julie came out short. But instead found a French phrase that expressed just that: ' _La Douleur Exquise'_.  _The feeling of loving someone despite knowing you can't have them_. She wondered to herself what it must have felt like, she could picture him alone in a dark room all by himself, with the sounds of his beloved laughing and conversing with another—He was helplessly alone. It must have been an empty feeling, she didn't want to imagine it, nor consider how long he felt that way. She was drawn to take action, somehow.

She knew Ben may come to hate her, but she didn't care. It was for his own good, she knew that much. It wasn't due to her secretly wishing to enact revenge, no, she wasn't so cruel. Surely. It was only right that she forced him to face his demons, even if she had to drag him tooth and nail to do it. After what felt like an eternity held captive in the cage of her own emotions, she was able to bring herself to contact the aforementioned beloved of Julie's late beloved. As always, she was delightful, and kind and even strictly on the phone Julie knew she was beautiful—It became increasingly apparent why he liked her so much. She didn't disclose to the recipient the subject of their meeting, but simply that she wished to have a word with her the following afternoon. To Julie's relief, she accepted without a second thought. Even expressing that she too wanted to touch base with her. It almost made her cringe at how utterly kind she was, yet completely oblivious to what was about to be divulged to her. For a moment, Julie wondered if she perhaps was becoming the cruel one for disclosing such a tightly kept secret of Ben's, but she knew it was right… she told herself it was right… it was fair.

The following afternoon per the established schedule, Julie arrived at Mr. Smoothies to patiently wait for her invited guest. Her heart rate only increased as her hands broke out in nervous hives. She wanted to tell her, and yet she felt so incredibly guilty. It was Ben's secret, his love, his feelings. She wondered if it were right for her to do as she originally planned; Suddenly having Ben hate her seemed a lot less palatable than before. She began to think that if she did this, he would never want her back, that the girl would return his feelings and leave forever. She didn't want that. However, the thought remained in her head all the same:  _He loves her_. The passion he kissed her with, the tender caresses that made her feel more precious than gold and silver, the gentle guiding of her body onto the bed, keeping his hand under her head to protect it from hitting anything hard—All kind, and thoughtful acts were not for her… The love he displayed, the desire, she was so utterly and completely jealousy of that girl. That lucky, lucky girl. She knew not how lucky she was. To have someone like Ben Tennyson, love her with such a undying passion… it was only right she knew. Not for Julie's sake, not for her boyfriend's sake, not even for Ben's sake, but for her own. So that she could understand the passion Julie got to enjoy, but shouldn't have. It was never for her. She didn't deserve it. It belonged to another, and it needed to return to them. She could only hope that the message would be received, and that Ben—While she wanted him for herself—Could face his feelings… and maybe be accepted, or even rejected… And if he were to be, she was certain to be there to put back the delicate pieces of his heart and make him whole again. As selfish as she knew it to be.

"Julie! It's so good to see you again, it feels like it's been forever!" The girl in question greeted her with a wide smile, and a warm hug(She liked this part of America). They pulled away to smile once again at each other before taking a seat at one of the tables. "I haven't seen you since the Christmas party, how have you been?" Julie could detect an empathetic sadness in her voice, she was concerned for Julie; Only increasing her guiltiness for before. She was too kind, in the end out of everyone, Julie knew she didn't deserve any of it. It was so sad to her it was how it had to be, but life was unfair.

Passing her a strawberry smoothie, Julie opened her mouth to begin, "There's something you need to know,  _Gwen_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MuHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! PLOT TWIST! I bet you didn't see that coming! ... I mean, I've been hinting at it for awhile, I did say this was a love square(haha). So I need to admit something, I broke my glasses, so I'm partially blind until I get my new pair. I tried editing this chapter so stay up-to-date with my schedule, but I have a very difficult time reading; I.e, if you find any errors, I'm sorry, I tried to avoid any. :( I hope you enjoyed it despite any errors that might be there... Love you!
> 
> Notes: Leo is a character who showed up in the comics!
> 
> 薄情 means "Heartless" in Japanese.


	5. Chapter 5: “Words are easy, like the wind; Faithful friends are hard to find.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I gotta be honest. I totally thought I already published the last chapters of the story. Lol! Whoops, guess not. Oh well, here's the next chapter, expect me to post the last ones soon. :)
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN BEN 10! OR ALL THE REFERENCES I MAKE.
> 
> I use themes from these works so slight spoilers: Ben 10(OG), Ben 10: Alien Force, Ben 10: Ultimate Alien, Ben 10 Comics(Yes they exist! And are cute, check 'em out.) Shakesphere! Lots and lots of it!

Originally, Gwen with great anticipation looked forward to speaking with Julie. It felt like it had been forever since the last time she spoke to Ben—He didn’t even bother to call on their shared birthday… then again she didn’t call either. Receiving even the semblance of elucidation to his choice in behavior was relieving to say the least. In addition, Julie perpetually maintained a beyond flawless impression on her. Whether or not she was dating her cousin, Gwen was fond of the prospect of sharing comradery with her outside of them interacting exclusively due to their common relation to Ben. She was so excited for this meeting in fact that she dawned a piece of apparel given to her by her Great Aunt Vera; A vibrant crimson trench coat. Paired with a raven black pencil skirt and tights, she wore a soft knitted, white turtle-neck sweater. However at that point, Gwen could only regret her foolish decision as the drink Julie oh-so kindly purchased for her, had soaked previously mentioned outfit with the sticky, icy suds of her strawberry smoothie.

Doing a spit-take wasn’t an action the ginger was prone to, when it came to surprises, she liked to believe she was more pleasant than irritable to reactions. Nevertheless, being asked directly after being told in a serious tone Julie needed to tell her something, the oddest question: “Have you ever kissed anyone? Like, what do you Americans call it…? _French kissed_ someone??” Not having an explicitly extreme reaction, in Gwen’s mind was far too much to expect. In truth Gwen would be lying if she told Julie she had never in her life kissed someone, and she didn’t mean a mom or dad—But actually kiss someone with romantic feelings. But she wasn’t sure whether she wished to validate, let along acknowledge the memories surrounding the topic. It was difficult as it was to repress them from her mind, especially on the occasion she saw another couple blissful. Perhaps it was due to this wish to heed it no mind that addressing it directly caused Gwen to perform something so embarrassing.

“I’m not sure I’d call it French kissing… we didn’t exactly know what we were doing, it was really just bashing our teeth together at first.” Gwen admitted sheepishly, flushed by the hues of embarrassment as she quickly used their table’s napkins to clean the mess she carelessly made.

Processing her answer closely, as apparent in her face, Julie bobbed her head moderately. “Well, I suppose that counts.” A small laugh escaped her lips, “It’s not about knowing how to do it, but feeling it… like a moment of pure bliss as love is shared between just the two of you.” Gwen’s smile fell slightly at this, the faintest sense of envy making itself known in her. Upon noticing it, she immediately banished it to the pits of her subconscious once more.

“Once… I suppose I had that once… But it was a really long time ago…” Gwen’s voice faded in her throat, she would have preferred not to think about it. “So, what exactly does this have to do with what you wanted to tell me?” Gwen inquired hastily, desperate to direct the conversation elsewhere, towards a issue—She hoped—was favorable in contrasts to the current topic.

Julie gave a hefty sigh, whatever she wished to discuss with Gwen she could tell was difficult for her. “Ben and I, were intimate like that for the first time at your parents party…” She began. Sweat formed on Gwen’s temple as Julie continued(it honestly seemed to her that such information was hardly within her jurisdiction to know), “I understand this probably sounds weird—But hear me out! It was nice, but.. the reason him and I broke things off was due to Ben moaning another girl’s name…” The instant those last few left her lips, Gwen jumped to her feet. Her pulse static, her eyes wildly darting around, and her forehead drenched by a sudden surge of sweat. Apprehensive with her alarming reaction, Julie slowly stood as well, gingerly extending her hand to consolingly place it on Gwen’s shoulder. “Calm down… you haven’t even heard whose name it was…” Julie cooed soothingly, doing all in her power not to further frighten her.

She didn’t once realize the horror racing through Gwen’s mind at the speed of sound, thoughts of both anxiety as well as the keen sense of bewilderment coursed through her veins like blood. “I’m sorry Ben did that, but I **don’t** want to know.” Gwen declared a little too loudly for comfort, “I’m sorry, I really am.” Julie attempted to call after her, but Gwen had fled from her earshot. On foot, in a pair of Mary-jane black flats, she ran as fast as she possibly could force her weak legs to. She ran them sore, she refused the blisters forming on her heels any attention, eventually deserting them to a roadside as they only held her back from reaching her destination sooner. His house. What Julie said couldn’t have true, if it was then Ben had lied, what he told her that night would have been a lie—She had to hear it for herself, from his mouth. Not from Julie Yamamoto’s.

She feared her feet were vulnerable to frostbite, as well as the stains from the unnaturally pink smoothie was sure to never be removed from her coat(It was a gift); But in that instant it hardly mattered in the least to her. Until her white knuckles met the chill of his wooden door, she refused to stop running. When they finally did, Gwen was given the chance to catch her breath—Shaky as it was, and painful to breathe in. After what felt like an eternity, but in reality was at most three minutes, Ben answered the door. His eyes grew wide at the sight of Gwen, she didn’t need a mirror to know she the utter definition of a mess. She imagined her hair was absolutely wild about herself, face a heated red, and her toes an unnatural blue undoubtedly. “Who is it—Gwen?? What happened??” Kevin’s voice came from behind her cousin, he like Ben paled at Gwen’s weakened form. She gave no reply as she entered Ben’s house, he and Kevin stepped aside for her as she did. Treating her like fragile glass.

“Can I wash up real quick?” While Gwen was pressed to discuss what Julie informed her of just minutes ago, she was to an extent far too embarrassed by her current state of disarray. Given confirmation by the two boy’s slow, and silent nods, Gwen proceeded into the bathroom to wash her face with warm water and a towel. She ran a comb (She assumed to be her Aunt Sandra’s due to stray blonde hairs) through her wild mane as long as it took to tame the wild flame she attempted to convince people was her hair. Slipping out of her coat and sweater she left it to soak in the bath tub—She made mental note to apologize to her Great Aunt Vera if the stain wasn’t removed by soaking on a later date. Peeking her head out to make sure no one was around to see, she snuck quickly into the laundry room. Taking her time to sift through the various baskets of clean laundry—a conclusion she came to judging off of its smell—to find make-shift clothing to wear; Deciding upon random undershirt that would be tight for Ben, but loose for her, a pair of skinny jeans(Again loose for her), and his favorite Nasa hoodie he wasn’t wearing that day. She liked to remind people as often as she could that astrology wasn’t just Ben’s thing, but she liked the science of the universe long before he did. It was laid carelessly with his other clean clothing so she assumed it to be washed, yet it was still warm from being worn, and didn’t smell like detergent but faintly of pine and hazelnut. The scent was nostalgic to her, oddly enough.

“Gwen, what happened??” Kevin questioned Gwen as she entered the living room where he and Ben were stationed on the couch, playing videogames. She made no effort to answer her boyfriend’s question, as much as she appreciated his concern she was set on completing a task.

Gwen took a seat on the chair beside Ben’s, she knit her brows together as she stared him down—His eyes didn’t stray from the tv screen once however(To her annoyance). “Benjamin,” Still no response, “Benjamin Kirby Tennyson…” She tried again, using his full name only succeeded to having Ben pause the game. Yet refused to make eye contact with her. Saying his behavior infuriated her was beyond an understatement.

“What? What did I do this time, huh?” She could see his knuckles clench, she wanted to see his eyes though, but he refused to provide her with that despite fully well knowing she wanted it.

Kevin sitting on the couch opposing Gwen’s, felt compelled to speak as he felt sorely left out of the loop. “I’m confused, can someone explain to me what’s going on??”

“That’s what I’d like to know.” Both the Tennyson cousins said in unison, leading the two to finally make eye contact due to the initial surprise. But as soon as it came, it left, Ben choosing to once again turn away.

“Julie spoke to me… about you two breaking up…”  Gwen started, her tone delicate while concurrently blunt. Ben’s eyes narrowed on the ground when Julie was mentioned, ostensibly without the intention to clarify. Taking this into account Gwen opened her mouth again to continue—But Ben chose that moment to make his thoughts known to the two around him.

“Sorry, I must’ve missed the day we decided my love-life was any of your business.” Ben stated in a low voice akin to a growl. Gwen knew if it was to anyone else, it would have been a full out growl; The fact that he was going easy on her only upset her further.

“It’s not! Of course it’s not! But I need to know, I need to hear it from you.” Gwen pleaded, reaching her hand over to his arm. Touching it gently, eager to qualm his obvious anger or what additional emotions he acutely left unseen. “I didn’t let her tell me because I wanted to hear it from you, so please say it. Tell me.”

“I’m still really confused over here.” Kevin once again piped in, and yet the two cousins were completely deaf to his voice.

Slowly raising his eyes to meet hers of a shade parallel to his own, yet so entirely diverse. His hand flew to the pillow on the couch, he clutched it before flinging it at his cousin of the fairer sex. Naturally this shocked both Gwen—Who received the blow—and Kevin—Who was watching. But Ben merely laughed it off, igniting the wrath laid dormant in Gwen. She too, following in his footsteps grabbed the nearest pillow to whack him backside the head with. This launched the two into an all-out pillow slaughter feast, with Kevin joining in to supposedly protect his girlfriend’s honor. As childish at it was, it was something sorely needed for the three as each were struggling with an intense issue plaguing their mind relentlessly. While Ben was just trying to pull through life, Kevin decided to visit him to ‘hang out’ when in reality he wished to investigate him further due to a lack of trust. He felt as though it wasn’t safe to allow Ben free range to spending time with his girl when the boy proved to be so respectively unpredictable; Cousin or not, unpredictable plus closer to her than him equaled dangerous. Not to mention the sight of her wearing Ben’s hoodie and not his own was as pleasant as the sound of nails grinding against a chalk board to him. It should have been his hoodie she was wearing instead of the stained dress she arrived in. Gwen was far too independent, he wished she would rely on him more—He reasoned then she would come to love him as he dreamed she would. He could tell something was holding her back, that being Leo as he hypothesized. He loathed the knowledge of another boy having such a tight grasp on her heart, the heart that rightfully belonged to him. And him alone, he was her boyfriend after all.

Her eyes were the color of dreams, her face a soft porcelain dolls, each feature painted delicately by the most masterful of painters. Her long lashes flicked against her cheeks as she grinned widely with each swing. Her red hair danced around her, chaotic yet purposeful, and all together elegant. While her figure was hidden inside her cousin’s saggy clothing, her hourglass figure was still apparent to Kevin. And her lips, plump, and soft looking. Flushed in an enticing, tasty looking pink; He wanted nothing more than to taste them himself. It was probably due to this impulse that in midst the pillow fight, he caught hold of her cheek to direct her face in the direction of his own. Placing his lips against her, he finally got his wish to taste the sweet flavor of her strawberry lip-gloss as he slid his tongue against her soft skin.

It was heaven, it was all he wanted and more. Well, that was an flat out lie, having tasted just a sample of her made him only desire her more, and more of her. He wanted to love her, he wanted her to love him, he wanted them to make love to each other. But that dream he fantasized often of, was shattered instantly as a strong blow forced them to part. Kevin’s cheek stung, an irritated patch of skin began to form as he placed a stunned hand over it. To his horror the harsh slap to the face that forced him to part from his lover, came from said lover. Gwen, the woman he loved and desired stood before him somewhat disheveled due to their childish activities, was rendered red in the face but not of an love endued blush, but an intense rage. Moreover, she appeared on the edge of tears,

“You shouldn’t have done that…” Gwen told him in a friable whisper, visibly upset by his actions. Kevin could only gape perplexed by her reaction, it was the last way he expected her to react. She was meant to return his love, and yet she appeared overcome by a sort of emotion he knew not. “Wh-Why did you… no… I’m sorry…” Kevin felt partially relieved to see Gwen shift into a sense of guilt for her actions, “Oh god… you’re right… I am a shallow bitch…” Quite candidly Kevin didn’t comprehend meaning behind her erratic ramblings but chose to dismiss it nevertheless as he attempted to draw her closer to him in the attempt to kiss her again; This time with more luck. But once again, without skipping a beat Gwen wrung herself out of his embrace, “No! I can’t! I can’t!”

“I don’t get it, why not??” Kevin demanded, frustrated by her disinterest in him. She was supposed to enjoy it as much as he did! And yet her face merely drained into a shade of pure horror.

“I need to go!” Gwen exclaimed in a panic as her stomach threated to purge itself. She rushed rapidly over into the nearest bathroom’s toilet, by sheer luck the grave nausea subsided into a chronic twisted feeling in her gut. Call it brain over the body, she stubbornly refused to allow herself to embarrass herself further. While the sensation of his tongue sliding over her lips made her want to retch, Gwen prohibited herself to surrender to such weakness. She had complete recollection when she agreed to date the man it was eventually going to happen, and yet she hardly prepared herself for it. She felt repulsively polluted, in spite of the copious amounts of mouthwash she bleached her mouth with it failed to make herself feel any cleaner. Contaminated, she felt sick to her stomach even still but nothing came up. Curling in on herself, Gwen laid by the toilet. Only the burning sensation of tears, and the chilling texture of the tile floor to keep her company. If there existed a word for the opposite of nostalgia, she knew that would be how she felt. The very same feeling of guilt, helplessness and self-loathing she endured that day when her Grandfather flat lined. The ringing of the heart monitor piercing her eardrums, like the screams of thousands in mourning of the great man they lost. And it was her fault. If she had only control over her feelings, then she never would have had to lose him. He never would have had to die. If she had control over her feelings, what happened with Kevin never would have happened. She was supposed to love Kevin, she decided to… but why couldn’t she?

She did her research, she knew he was involved in the bomb planting that caved in the Bellwood bridge, and along with it everyone in the trains, or driving below the bridge. Gwen knew it was Kevin’s handiwork that manufactured the bomb, but his accomplice Argit who planned and saw through the project. She knew all of this, and she knew how easily she could have seen her Grandfather’s death to be the blood on their hands, and yet all she could think of was that disappointed expression he gave her when she misbehaved. He was so disappointed with her, she was a failure. I’m a failure, the phrase was repeated in her mind like a broken record since that day—She tried to drown it out by achieving perfect grades in school, and being kind to all she met, doing charity, volunteering—But with all those good deeds done, the voice went from taunting to screaming in her ear as she laid sobbing on the bathroom floor. It mattered not that she had no part in the planting of that bomb, it was due to her misdeed that they left that summer camp eight years ago. If only she had control of herself, Space camp would have been a success and all would have been right with the world; She would smush in her cocky cousin’s face the superior grade she achieved, probably stay in touch with Leo, and would keep her loving Grandfather who with the kindness in his heart brought them there in the first place… She was in the wrong, she told herself that fact often. But no amount of guilt could seem to wash away the feelings that lingered, **no** , intensified over the years of distance. Lying to herself constantly, afraid if for even a moment she allowed herself to feel what she felt, all would be lost again, like it was with her Grandfather.

Gwen wasn’t that girl anymore, someone with such terrible self-esteem she went out of her way to appear the best. She liked to believe she actually was the best, and that she earned it. However, somehow it didn’t give her the satisfaction she desired. She still felt like that helpless little girl, trapped in that claustrophobic space of the old Rust Bucket, with blood pouring down her forehead as well as welling up in her mouth from biting her tongue. Admitting to herself once more that she couldn’t move on from that incident did her no good, stuffing her feelings did her no good; She only ended up hurting someone who was nothing but kind to her. She already felt terrible for what she knew she would eventually have to do: Break it off with Kevin. He wasn’t a bad guy, as far as she could tell he had gotten better since his days of terrorism, and truly wished to have a good relationship with her. But she knew, she was hardly in any position to do that. If Gwen was going to fix her feelings, she had to do it without hurting others… No longer would she be cruel as that to anyone but herself, it was her sinful nature that landed her in that situation, so it would be her burden to carry **alone**.

Bitter laughter erupted from her as she thought this, if she wasn’t mistaken Ben had said something similar along those lines to her. She hated to admit it, but her doofus of a cousin was right. Bottling away your feelings accomplishes nothing, if you want your problems taken care of don’t drag someone through the dirt to do it. When had he become so wise to that? She regretted not giving him his birthday present on their birthday, she wondered if he too had a present for her he never gave her… along with her Christmas gift. His voice declaring his hatred for her only echoed again in her head for what felt like the billionth time, hearing him say such words hurt more than anything else said to her, and yet she didn’t blame him. From his perspective, he didn’t blame himself for what happened to Grandpa Max, and he didn’t blame her either… But she wouldn’t accept that, nor him. He was far too kind, he deserved someone selfless like Julie, not some girl who couldn’t keep her shit together for five straight seconds. She laughed again, there she was, just assuming he still had feelings for her, just assuming it was her name he said. Was she really so vain as to actually believe that? Was she so pathetic? She really must’ve been… He was a child when he said such things to her, it was so long ago by now it meant nothing. It was far more likely it was the name of his first crush Kai Green from kindergarten he said than anyone else. Besides, she was far prettier than Gwen, and more athletic, and girlier; She was even the head Cheerleader at their school, it wouldn’t have surprised her in the least if he had eyes for the Native-American girl even still. Who was she? Gwen Tennyson, with her boring personality, boring schedule, boring taste, and even more boring face! Her eyes were practically identical to his, what could he have possibly seen in them?

It was probably some sick joke he created to mess with her, she knew better that week than to provoke him by constantly stating how much better of a leader Leo was than him, and how superior in intellect he was in contrast to Ben. Bragging of how he could recite sweet sonnets to her, and even speak in fluent French(The language of Love). Perhaps that was why he pulled her aside that one night eight years ago, perhaps it was with a vengeance her ripped the Shakespeare novel Leo gave her as a gift. It was possible he only wished to humiliate her, and for that reason he refused to take blame for their Grandfather’s death. He insisted Leo was tool, who only liked her because as her partner he received better grades. He tried to persuade her Leo had a record for doing it with other girls in years past—Like, supposedly a girl named Tori. He tried to justify the constant pranking he plagued her with that week was for the soul reason of trying to scare Leo away, but she refused to believe it. He even went as far as to have the gull to claim he thought she deserved better, and that he had purchased her a new and better Shakespeare novel to replace the one he destroyed; A novel she kept by her bed to this day. She sobbed relentlessly over the memory, he held such kindness in his eyes, was it truly a lie? What was real, and fake? Simply recalling his face made her question whether it was wrong to feel such divisive feelings.

But then she remembered her Grandpa Max’s face again when he saw them, when he saw the gentle hand Ben had place on her cheek. The hand Gwen had placed over his other until they laced together. How utterly close their faces were to one another,  or the glaze of saliva left on each other’s lips from their childish attempt at…

 

 **Kissing**. ‘We didn’t exactly know what we were doing, it was really just bashing our teeth together at first.’ As Gwen put it earlier. But for the split second, when she allowed herself to give in to those pesky emotions of hers, she committed a crime so shameful her Grandfather couldn’t stop himself from immediately ordering them to pack their things to return home. She still recalled sitting in the back of that ancient RV beside Ben, the two promising the other they wouldn’t part, even if their parents forced them to; That they had each other. And the stupid boy, as foolish yet earnest he was said to her: “Time is very slow for those who wait, very fast for those who are scared, very long for those who lament, very short for those who celebrate. But for those who love, time is eternal.” For her, he recited Shakespeare, despite constantly claiming Leo was a womanizer for doing with other girls. Was it really true that it was a lie? Was it real? Was it still a cheap joke when the bridge collapsed on them, yet beneath the caving bunkbed, he shielded her from the impact. The blood he shed was done with her safety in mind, that when it trickled down her own face from how close they were, it was a decoration of his feelings for her?

If so… why did he agree to never speak of it again when Max was on his death bed, if so why did he continue to refer to himself at that time like another person, using “he”s and “him”s instead of “I” or “me”s?? Maybe he did feel something, but wanted nothing to do with her after that, perhaps he was ashamed of himself too… She couldn’t accept herself, how could she possibly expect him to either? It was preposterous. She didn’t deserve love. She didn’t deserve his love.

She only deserved the cold tile floor, and sickening nausea.

* * *

“… Why did she run away??” Kevin asked himself more than anyone else, a tang of devastation making itself known through his tone. He stood like deer in the headlights, unable to take his eyes off the hall Gwen fled through. He was so focused on it in fact, he didn’t notice Ben watching him closely. With a critical glance, he walked past Kevin, blocking the way to Gwen. His action earned a heated glare from Kevin that both expressed his confusion and irritation, “What are you doing??” He demanded irritably, harboring no more motivation to show Ben patience.

“No, what are you doing?” Ben echoed back condescendingly, matching Kevin’s intense stare with his own—Just as intense, if not more so. Kevin recognized his look, he locked into overprotective cousin mode, a mode he deemed rather unnecessary.

“This is none of your business, Tennyson, step aside.” Kevin threatened him darkly, his onyx eyes narrowed, brows spiked, and jaw clenched. Ben persisted stubbornly,

“She wants to be left alone. Give her time to calm down.” Ben reasoned, regrettably vouching for a sentiment Kevin could agree to. So in spite of himself, Kevin begrudgingly took Ben’s advice and sat back down on the couch to wait for Gwen to return. Whenever that was, he could only hope it was sooner than later; The less time he spent with Ben the better. He had made up his mind at that point that Ben was beyond a danger to his objective of making Gwen his.

“I want you to understand I’m waiting for her to calm down because I want to, not because you told me to.” Kevin informed him begrudgingly, Ben took a seat on the opposing couch. Completely unaffected by his cautioning once again—Serving to infuriate Kevin further—Ben flipped out his phone to properly block Kevin’s obnoxious voice out from his mind. “Ya know, I wanted to get along with you—Seeing as I’d have to see you at family gatherings and all that shit, but I’m starting to get the vibe from ya that you don’t particularly want me to date your cousin.” Kevin said to provoke Ben.

To his glee, his comment elicited a reaction from the chestnut haired boy: that reaction being the knitting together of his eyebrows, as well as the grinding of his teeth. “Did I stutter when I told you to go for it? Or did all the years in juvie away from English class corrode your understanding of the language?”  Ben remarked, not even bothering to apply resentment to his tone of voice.

Kevin stared wide eyed at Ben, his pride partially wounded(though he’d never admit it), offended by the boy’s foolishly gutsy attitude he started to shoot back responses, “Then why are you constantly so overprotective of my girl??” He took note of the way Ben’s brow flinched at the purposeful emphasis Kevin put on the word ‘my’. “As much as I appreciate you caring for her physical wellbeing, leave that job to her **boyfriend**.”  Again his tactless emphasis to the word ‘boyfriend’ visibly irritated Ben.

“Take my shit, my pride, even my goddamn patience, but **don’t even dare** try to take away my position as her cousin and best friend.” Ben threatened in a low growl, while he cautioned Gwen earlier with a tone akin to a growl, this time with Kevin it was a full out threat filled by a toxic hatred obvious in the pointed glare he shot him. It was hard to comprehend eyes the same color as his own girlfriend’s looking so utterly terrifying and unfeeling when hers was everything but. “Though I was not born to be her lover, I was to be her cousin so do not try to rob me of my birthright, you ex-convicted bastard.”

It was a concept Kevin humored often in his mind, Ben’s behavior was always odd to him. He was her cousin, they had a close relationship, like brother and sister, if her precious brother was against him dating her certainly Gwen would agree and break off their relationship. It was for this reason when Ben acted in ways that lead him to suspect the boy wasn’t too fond of him Kevin often resent him and actually wish to see him suffer in some way. What he didn’t exactly consider until Ben threatened him outright that Ben wasn’t acting as an overprotective brother like cousin, but as a possessive rival for his cousin’s affections. Kevin’s mouth went dry as he was at a loss of comprehendible words to say, “… Are you saying…” He licked his lips nervously, “You’re in love with her??”

Ben rolled his eyes, “No shit sherlock.” HE ADMITTED IT! Kevin was shocked, stunned, he had half the mind to be enraged, but the initial shock was so great he had a difficult time experiencing any other emotion.

“B-But you’re cousins! And you set her up with me and everything!!” Kevin couldn’t wrap his mind around what was occurring around him, Ben on the other hand seemed hardly affected, content even to look at whatever he was scrolling through on his mobile phone with.

“I’m not going to be a selfish piece of shit who stops others from dating her just because I can’t.” Ben stated a matter-of-factly, “Has it ever occurred to you that some people have just as fucked up lives as you? You spent eight years in juvie, and I’m stuck eternally in the cousin zone while she tries to deal with the belief she is to blame for our Grandpa’s kicking of the bucket. You date Gwen because she’s ideal and perfect and helps you forget how utterly perfect you’re not, well reality check she’s trying to forget every emotion she has and be the model student and girlfriend; Being ideal for you ain’t no walk in the park, what you idolize about her drives her into panic attacks to maintain. So until you’re willing to love her for her, you’d be better off taking my advice even if I am a selfish, incestuous son of a bitch.” As much as Kevin hated Ben, he could recognize when he spoke semblance of truth, but not all of which he would give him the benefit of.

“Are you trying to insinuate I don’t love her for her???” Kevin barked angrily, standing to his feet to tower over Ben. Never once did Ben appear intimidated though, true to his previously proved nature.

“Levin, you asked out a girl you knew virtually nothing about besides the fact that being around her made you feel less bad about yourself. If that’s love, then the dictionary has ridiculously low standards.” Ben argued calmly, however he put in the effort to display resent this time around.

“I know plenty about Gwen, I’ve been dating her for a month already! Besides, knowing and feeling are different, right?” Kevin argued back, proud of the seemingly romantic stance he took.

“Feelings aren’t always things you can trust. A child might really feel like it would be cool to feel the shock of a fork in an outlet, but he would know better than to do that because it would kill him.” Ben rebutted, “If I’m honest, I think you’re in love with the idea of Gwen, but not actually in Gwen.”

That had crossed a line for Kevin, he puffed out his chest, clenched his jaw, and knuckles until they turned white just to hold back from inflicting damage on Ben that would hold consequences. “You really think you know that much about loving Gwen, do you??” Kevin might have stood a good foot or so taller than Ben, when the boy stood with a serious flame in his eyes, Kevin felt like the smaller of the two.

“I’ve loved her for years, I don’t remember a time I wasn’t in love with her. Sure, for a while all I could think about was getting her attention, I’d provoke her, insult her, stick gum in her hair—All that stupid kids’ stuff, but I just really wanted her to look at me, even if it meant she was chasing after me to probably beat me up. It took that summer eight years ago with her for me to come to terms with how I felt, just seeing her swoon over some random guy just because he could recite Shakespeare off of memory. As far as I was concerned, he was fighting for Gwen’s attention with me, so I’d prank them to get her to look back at me. But no, it was Leo, and only Leo. He was just a playboy, according my roommates he was like that with last year’s smartest girl Tori. He just piggybacks the smartest girl he can seduce to get great grades; IT’S JUST A CAMP! But she couldn’t see that, he gave her book and boom! He was the cat’s pajamas. I ripped that book apart to make a point to her, but that only made things worse. When I got a book to replace it for her, she started to listen. Just having her give me the time of day was relieving, I finally felt alive again. It was so dark and lonely when she paid me no mind, I even memorized 30 sonnets of Shakespeare’s just to get her to pay more attention to me—Having her focus on me keenly because she was interested, instead of wanted to beat me black and blue was the best. I wanted to pay attention to me and only me, and as a stupid ten year-old I attempted to kiss her.” Ben paused, his choice in where to stop his story ignited the flame that made Kevin’s anger boil. “And know what, she actually kissed me back.” Ben mocked with a wide sneer across his face, relishing in the envious expression that warped Kevin’s face.

Agitated by Ben’s words, Kevin swiftly threw his hand in his direction intending to grasp the boy’s collar, yet he managed to dodge the attack. “You’re LYING!!” Kevin barked angrily, his Gwen was no whore, she was not so lowly as to stoop to Benjamin’s level. Not only was he attempting to lie to him, but having him agile avoid his advances did naught to stifle his anger.

“I’m not! Dunno what I did, but she liked me and that’s all that matters.” Ben snickered, smiling widely at the memory of her returning his loving touches. His gleeful expression encouraging the taller man to continue to swipe at him to no avail. “I’ve had a long time to think about this, Levin. Eight years! It feels like an eternity when you spend every day with her, but can never be with her. I’ve known her for so long, I know everything about her, but that’s not it; It’s not why I love her, in that context you’re right.” Kevin halted in his attacks when Ben commended his previous statement, “Knowing isn’t all that important when you’re been with her for so long. Not when every moment of weakness is together, not when every secret is shared, not when you are the only one the other comes to with their worries. Loving someone is wanting to see them happy more than wanting to be happy with them, loving someone is ignoring how much you constantly think about them, so that you can focus on making them happy. I love Gwen so much, so much I’ve supported a criminal like you because I know it’s better for Gwen if she found love with another. Even if it meant that she wouldn’t come to me about her problems anymore, or rant to me about meaningless things just for the heck of it, or that it meant she would spend the rest of her life with someone else. I’d tell her: Words are easy, like the wind; Faithful friends are hard to find. I want her to find people she can rely on, that don’t have to be me… She’s funny, incredibly witty, absolutely clever beyond measure, and sympathetic, selfless and earnest to please people. It broke my heart every time you so much as breathed the same air as hers. I tried to ignore my feelings for so long, I dated a sweet girl named Julie, and only hurt her because I couldn’t seem to get my cousin out of my head. I’m a vile, disgusting human being who thinks about his cousin during those times it’d be inappropriate for me to. I can accept myself for being as sick, and selfish as I am. But don’t think for a single second I’d compromise the promise I made to her just because you’re self-fucking-conscious. I’m not so low as to stand in the way of Gwen being happy, but I sure as hell will stand in the way of anyone who would do anything to make her unhappy, so don’t make me stand in your way Kevin; Shape up.” Ben finished, taking a deep, and frustrated breath. He irritably combed his fingers through his hair, expecting Kevin to fight him, but the man did no such thing. He simply stared, narrow eyed at him, carefully calculating what Ben’s words entailed.

In Kevin’s eyes, what Ben had just suggested seemed absolutely out of the question. Then again he stopped listening to what the boy said after he confirmed Gwen kissed him back, the thought of her kissing her own cousin back and not her boyfriend was outrageous. And highly unlikely. He began to consider the very likely possibility that Benjamin was simply a pervert who conquered up that story because he truly believed Gwen held feelings for him.  Kevin decidedly deduced that could never be the case, it was impossible. Gwen was a wonderful angel, perfect in every way—His future wife—She was only confused, she was just hung up on that Leo guy. Once she got over him, she’d be able to kiss him back; For real, and not just a make-believe story he vulgar cousin prepared to trick him with.

He laughed triumphantly, “You think I’d fall for such a ridiculous claim??” Kevin questioned condescendingly, but Ben hardly bat an eye at his odd mannerisms,

“It’s your call, dude. Whether you choose to believe it or not is up to you.” Ben said with an nonchalant shrug.

“Gwen would never do that, and I’ll prove it!” Kevin argued, rushing toward the direction of the bathroom Gwen fled to earlier. However, somehow swifter than before, Ben came between them. Blocking his path just as he had previously, and apparently this time just as offensive as defensive.

“I told you to leave her alone..” Ben threatened firmly,

“You’re just afraid she’ll confirm all you’ve said to be lies.” Kevin said back to him just as offensively, raising his fist a second time as a warning to Ben—Completely overlooking the fact that he had proved before to be impervious to his attacks. Only adding wood to the flame, Ben’s eyes flicked to the taller man’s fist, then back to him; Acknowledging Kevin’s threat, yet showed no sign of fear. He resented Ben for this. “Give it up Ben!”

“Nothing I’ve said tonight was a lie, Kevin. So please, don’t make me fight you.” Ben’s kind words betrayed his lethal tone, Kevin wasn’t a fool to think for a moment Ben didn’t want more than anything to tear him to shreds. The boy practically reeked of bloodlust, and made no effort to hide that as a passive warning. Kevin made no effort to get along either, however. Gwen wasn’t around to show off for, after-all…

“You lied when you said you wanted me to date your cousin.” Kevin countered, preparing to throw the brunet a punch. But he was quick, quicker than he had been earlier. Swiftly leaning away from the punch, he took a hold of just below his wrist to twist it back on Kevin—Leaving that limb useless in battle.

“I **never** said that.”  These few words were all Kevin needed to launch a full out attack. He threw a left hook at him, but Ben ducked and in the process of that freed Kevin’s right arm. Given back his arm, he positioned himself into an appropriate battle stance, taking advantage of his height over Ben to chase him into a corner as tried to escape Kevin’s myriad of consecutive punches.  Confident he took the high ground in their fight, Kevin threw a final punch, and as expected Ben ducked to avoid. Thus, as according to his strategy, Kevin launched his knee into Ben’s stomach. The boy doubled over in pain, but made no sound, it was pathetic to the raven haired man that after all that, he still clung to a meaningless sense of pride. Prepared to finish the fight, Kevin secured his arms to elbow Ben on his exposed back. So convinced of his victory, he hadn’t accounted for Ben’s next attack of a punch to where the sun shined no light. Kevin, mirroring Ben’s actions doubled over, hissing in pain notwithstanding an effort to save himself the dignity of a silent blow to his pride. Going through with what Kevin couldn’t, Ben elbowed him down to the ground. Blood fell from the man’s mouth as he struggled to get up, “No… I’m not going to lose to a puny, disgusting, **incestuous** bastard like you!” Kevin proclaimed, jumping to his feet in spite of the pain to rush Ben a second time, however something stopped him,

“STOP!” A familiar, typically sweet, this time terrified voice pleaded with Kevin. Turning to see whom he knew he would, he found his girlfriend—the very same woman Ben claimed such atrocities of—Bawling her beautiful, green eyes out before him. The hands she clutched his arm with to hold him back shivering, “Please don’t fight…” She trailed off, choked up by her own sobs. The warmth of her touch leaving Kevin’s arm, he reached out for them again but she pulled away.

“… I’m sorry…” To Kevin’s surprise, Ben did indeed appear to be remorseful of his actions. Combing a hand through his hair in frustration at himself as a force of habit, the scar across his forehead peeking through strands of chestnut.

“Leave.” Gwen ordered, weak as her voice was, there was an authoritative tone to it. An unforgiving, apathetic sadness sting; A emotion Kevin couldn’t help but grin at under seeing it directed to the bane of his own existence, her very flesh and blood. It sucks to be him, being kicked out of his own house, he mused to himself.

“You heard the woman.” Kevin mocked Ben smugly, sneering wide as the Cheshire cat. His words earned not a downfallen frown from his foil, but instead an intensely perplexed expression—Eyes narrowed, brows raised, and lips thinned.

“I meant you, you’re the one being dangerous… Levin…” Gwen clarified, the use of his last name in place of her typical fond use of ‘Kev’ completely abandoned. Kevin was at a loss for words, gaping like a fish helplessly at her as she stared him down; Tears pouring from her face.

“YOU TAKE HIS SIDE??? HE’S THE PERVERT! HE’S THE ONE WHO TRIED TO BEAT ME UP!” Kevin roared in a fury, hatefully emphasizing on every reference to ~~the Devil~~ Ben. It was impossible, she was naïve! If she knew what he did, if she knew any of what Ben admitted to him that night, she would’ve been disgusted too. Kevin was her knight in shining armor, whether she knew it or not. She was oblivious to the truth!! She needed to know, then she’d rush to him, she’d want him to protect her from her big, scary freak of a cousin, and they’d kiss as they rode into the sunset; He imagined it all to go down that way, it might hurt, but as he figured, you have to break a few eggs to make an omelet. “That freak cousin of yours, ya know he’s so sick that he’s in fucking love with you! He’s a disgusting, gross, slime ball who thinks about you when he gets his rocks off. The dangerous one here isn’t me! It’s him!”

Without so much as a warning, the resounding clamor of a **SLAP** echoed through the air around them as Kevin’s cheek burned for the second time that night. “Shut the fuck up.” The sound of a curse leaving her mouth sounded foreign, and utterly out of place to him. He found both her actions and words so acutely mind boggling that he couldn’t bring himself to respond before she continued, “We’re over, Kevin Levin. Now leave, before I call the cops.” Gwen warned, her imposing voice breaking under her tears. They ran down her cheeks, her neck, from her nose and soaked her shirt; And yet, even in that sniffling mess, he still found her to be enchanting. Finally feeling a sense of guilt, Kevin made his way to the houses door, flickering his eyes back to the two—Who stood squarely in place, as they did before—then proceeded to leave without the slightest farewell. And without so much as a word to describe what he had just witnessed.

Ben glanced at Gwen as soon as the door behind Kevin shut, a wordless expression that conveyed all the entirety of what ran through his mind at that moment to Gwen. Due to the fight earlier he hadn’t taken very much note of her attire before, but now having done so he cracked a joke to lighten the mood, “Are you wearing my boxers too?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why yes, yes I am a mean person. Excuse me as I change the tags, because yes, this is a Bwen fic. I think I made that much clear in the last chapter, haha. Yeah, I really, really like these two together. And confession time, I mostly made this fic in the first place because of my distaste for how the Gwevin pairing was first introduced, and the complete exclusion of Ben and Gwen's relationship(Even as purely platonic!). It's like the new writer's forgot they were best friends who one of them quite literally was willing to die for the other, while the other wholly knowingly risked the universe for their sake. I.e I ship these two. Hardcore. In spite of them being cousins. Anyways, this fic also acts as an attempt to help people understand why to ship them, being slowly eased into it, ya know? Anyways, despite me pulling one over on ya, I hope you still liked it. :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you guys I'd post the remaining chapters soon. :) You probably didn't expect this soon, but I'm excited to get everything out on the table. I've had a few people say the writing is a little dramatic, and here's the thing it's supposed to be that way. I wrote it poetically on purpose. It's the whole Shakespeare theme, ya know? If you can't handle it, you won't like this chapter because it only gets more so haha. Anyways, enjoy! Also, I found a song that reminded me so much of this chapter(God I love Billie Eilish, she is my queen)  
> https://youtu.be/WiinVuzh4DA
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN BEN 10! OR ALL THE REFERENCES I MAKE.
> 
> I use themes from these works so slight spoilers: Ben 10(OG), Ben 10: Alien Force, Ben 10: Ultimate Alien, Ben 10 Comics(Yes they exist! And are cute, check 'em out.) Shakesphere! Lots and lots of it!

Gwen shook her head, “No, I only got smoothie on my dress… and my tights… and my cardigan…” She gave a hefty sigh, “I knew I shouldn’t have worn tights today.” It was intended to be a joke, that much was clear to Ben—Granted, he was the one who cracked the first joke. However, in the face of her entertaining words, tears continued to pour down her face without signs of stopping, not at least until she had no more tears left to cry.

Ben thought better than to make a move in her direction, “You… Are you feeling better?” He already knew the answer, she wasn’t. Far from it. Nevertheless he hoped perhaps asking her as much might be of help. Stating he felt guilty couldn’t even begin to express the sorts of emotions spiraling through his head, out of control. It was his idea in the first place to allow Gwen to date Kevin, he had thought he was committing a selfless act; He was prepared to continue through life single even if it meant she had found someone else to love her. But he just couldn’t do it, he just had to go and screw it up for her. Of course she’d take his side, they were family. He forced her to take his side based simply off of their related genes, for once he didn’t curse that aspect of himself. He went against the vow he swore upon against violence, for that he was truly ashamed of himself. It was just one thing after the other, he thought if he told Gwen off she’d avoid him and would be able to go on without being held back by him; If he wasn’t related to her, without a doubt Ben would be the one walking home at that instance… or maybe she only sent Kevin away because it was his own home. He wasn’t sure of anything anymore.

“You might want to add mouth wash to the list… I may have used it all up.” Gwen answered softly, earning a short bout of laughter from him. “I think I’ll… I’ll—I’ll…” She couldn’t even bring herself to finish her sentence as she crumbled to her knees in a further sob, uncontrollable and undeniably loud. Ben knew he’d regret it later if he allowed himself to console her, and yet found himself at her side before he could even register his own movement in his mind. Tenderly bringing her closer to himself he surrounded her in his arms, as though he was sheltering her from all the dangers of the world—Refusing to allow any to even graze a hair on her pretty head.

“I’m so sorry… Gwen…” He tried his best not to cry, it wasn’t his place to, nevertheless his own guilt with the additional sight of her weakness brought him to tears. “You didn’t have to take my side, I broke my promise… I struck him…” Ben confessed to her, he’d say anything to make the tears stop, even do what he hated almost more than anything: Admitting his own faults. He felt his tee-shirt begin to soak as she snuggled her face against his chest; He couldn’t even enjoy how pleasant it felt to have her so close to him, especially after so long of them being a part from one another. But, the situation was too bleak to permit him any gratification.

“I know he attacked you first, I heard you warn him… You don’t have to take the blame for him.” Ben had to strain his hearing to even percieve his cousin’s voice through the muffling of her face against his shirt. He quickly prepared a counter, but Gwen intervened him, “It was bound to happen eventually… you were right, I’m being a shallow bitch. Practically stringing him along just to fulfill some screwed up sense of self-bettering… I’m not better, I’m worse…”

Ben would be lying if he denied at any point thinking Gwen’s strategy of stuffing her feelings away in favor of plastering the accomplishment of the ideal life over herself was a wise ploy to act on. He too had to come to that conclusion by harming an innocent girl’s heart, you have to fix yourself—Not expect someone to do it for you. That was something Ben had to learn, something Kevin had to, and Gwen was learning. Yet at the sight of her vulnerability, he wanted to argue she did nothing wrong—Anything to dull the pain she was undoubtably in, and just watching her made him in as well. “Don’t call yourself a bitch…” He wanted to reassure her everything would be okay, that she did nothing wrong, that he was as Kevin said and that man was better for her. But he couldn’t bring himself to… at the very least, not the last part. “Yes… I said your name… I’m sorry…” Gwen pulled her face away from her cousin’s shirt, her eyes red and puffy. A complete mess, through and through. Though, at the very least they were dried by his shirt. She squinted her eyes, perplexed by him, not due to her not understanding what he admitted to, but for trying to read his face for a further explanation he stubbornly refused to provide. Tears fell at a quicker pace as they seemed to brim from his eyes at an exponential rate,  he tried to cover his face out of shame, Gwen was earlier to stop him nonetheless.

Her slender, gentle fingers trailed up his face so lightly it almost tickled. They drew apart his bangs to reveal the scar made years past by the unspeakable incident that stole their grandfather from them. With those fingers she traced the scar, it was painless as it healed many years prior, but her gentle touch alone sent shivers down his spine. “I thought you hated me..” Gwen’s pleading eyes entranced Ben’s, “But if you did, why would these exist?” He couldn’t tear his eyes away from her own, he knew he should otherwise he might’ve done something he would regret, but he didn’t… He tried to think of words to explain himself, and yet all he could seem to do were repeat words he had heard before,

“Hell is empty and all the devils are here. I’m a devil.” Ben cursed himself for the habit he couldn’t seem to shake, yet the small smile at last gracing Gwen’s downfallen face succeeded to make himself consider otherwise.

“The Tempest, **Shakespeare**. Why do you continue to quote him??” Gwen inquired softly of him. Ben decided he much preferred the shape of her rosy pink lips when they were in a smile.

“Because… because…” Ben found himself breathless as such familiar words wanted to be spoken by him again rose in his throat. She was beautiful, it mattered not that her hair was crazy in spite of her failed attempts to tame it, nor that her eyes were lined densely in scarlet, nor that her nose had begun to run.  She didn’t require a dress to beautiful(Although he didn’t mind the sight of her in his clothing), nor the amounts of makeup other girls caked onto their faces; Just being herself, smart, kind, compassionate, fierce Gwen was enough to make her utterly breathtaking to him. The girl he fell in love with all those years ago, the one he couldn’t even remember how he did, but would endlessly find reasons why he did with every moment spent with her. And with every attempt he conducted to sway his feelings otherwise, only to fall all over again. “I’m still completely, and helplessly in love with you. I’m so in love with you it emotionally, spiritually and physically hurts. I’d recite a million sonnets for you if it meant you’d smile… or at the very least look at me instead of that stupid, pesky Leo Armstrong.” Ben confessed, not with his preadolescent voice as he had the first time, but with his matured, husky voice. He would often bitterly wish to himself that he had such a good memory in regards to academic work akin to how he did in remembering phrases he uttered once to her.

With her fingers still on his forehead they glided back down to his chin as Gwen continued to gaze at him, taking in his every syllable. The smile she had nulling, before returning to grace her face once again as tears returned to her eyes. “I wish I could kiss you..” She confessed sheepishly, a blush blossoming in her cheeks.

Ben swallowed hard as he spoke breathlessly, “What’s stopping you?”

Gwen looked away from him in emotional distress, her warm fingers leaving his face—He already missed the pleasurable tingles they gave him. “If we didn’t kiss that day eight years ago Grandpa Max never would have been forced to take us home… and end up dying… We deserve this.” She informed him with conviction, the same very conviction she made him swear never to speak of that situation again with. At that time he was in mourning over his role model and Grandfather, and in the first stages of the ardor he would continue to have for her to the present day; It was only natural back then he would comply, it was logical for them to force themselves into the mold of the perfect cousins as to prevent another heartbreaking incident. But Ben wasn’t the same boy as he was back then, he lived far too long with the guilt of being held responsible for something that wasn’t his fault, he spent far too long trying to rid himself of a feeling that couldn’t be removed from his heart, and he had come to the conclusion she didn’t want to either. That she, Gwendolyn May Tennyson, the perfect A+ student, athlete, and beauty, didn’t want to be as perfect as she forced herself so often to be. He realized that she too wanted what he wanted, that she too was struggling with the very same emotions as he did.

“No. No we don’t, we’ve regretted and suffered far past the required amount for the actual culprit of the crime that robbed us Grandpa Max. I love you, Gwen. And I want to love you! I want to spend the rest of my life with you, I want to make love and have children with you. I want us to grow old together, and be better ‘Grandpa Max’s than he ever was to us. And I know you want that too, don’t you??” Ben confessed to her, his arms reaching her shoulders so she couldn’t turn away from him. She tried to look away, avoid his eyes as much as she possibly could, but even if she were to look at him he would be far to blurry in her tear-filled eyes. He removed a hand from her shoulder to grasp her chin gently, and turned it to look at him. Even through tears, a remorseful warmth shown in her jaded orbs. “Gwen, don’t you want that too???” It was with his second attempt that she collapsed against him,

“I do!!” She wailed desperately, the floodgate she had painstakingly held back by for years open releasing all at once onto Ben. “I want all those thing, I want them so, so very much…” In spite of himself more tears poured from his eyes a second time, however he couldn’t stop the relieved and joy-filled tears from brimming as he embraced Gwen tightly. Refusing to ever let go. “I felt so gross, I felt contaminated when he kissed me, I wanted more than anything in that moment for it to have been you instead of him. It was nothing like what it was supposed to be, it was nothing like it was so long ago…”

Her words drew a deep scarlet from Ben’s face, collecting confidence within himself, he pulled Gwen away from himself(Ignoring how she tried not to be parted). He brushed strands away from her face, and used his own sleeve to wipe her face dry before placing a hand on her cheek as he did so many years past. “I’m sure I can be just as awkward as I was the first time,” Ben said, receiving a very satisfying blush to adorably cross her face in anticipation. Waiting for her eyes to slowly close, and her lips to ever so slightly pucker, Ben allowed himself to place his lips over hers as he had dreamed he would be able to again. They weren’t strawberry lip-gloss covered as they had been before, but the trances of strawberry and spearmint(From the mouthwash) entered his senses. The memory of their first kiss had repeated itself many times in his head since the incident—More intense than the last—but none compared to having the real thing, nothing compared to the feeling of her lips responding to his movements and cooperating with them. His heart felt as though it were to give out as he in addition deprived himself of air in favor exploring the trenches of her mouth with his tongue. She in return drew her hands up his back and bellow his shirt, her long fingernails scratching his back as they trailed his sensitive skin; All of him desired her touch, and to touch her. His mind had gone into a chaotic blur, the single coherent thing he was certain of was how much he loved her, and how much he wanted her.

With his strong arms he lifted her up and off the ground to gently place her on the couch beside them. His arms remained under her thighs until she was secured and he could slid them under her(well his) tee shirt and hoodie, to feel her soft skin with his ever so callused hands. Upon this realization he drew away, not only to catch his breath but to snicker triumphantly to himself. Gwen, just as breathless as he, and red faced with an expression he just wish he could take a picture of—Half-lidded eyes, parted lips, and arched brows. “W-what?” Gwen gasped through rigged breaths, his laughter only continued as he grinned mischievously at her,

“I was the knight in your story, wasn’t I?” Ben guessed, and was most likely correct as Gwen’s eyes in an instant became the size of dinner plates and she sat up suddenly below him.

“WHAT??” Gwen paled, face progressively reddening her tried to avoid Ben’s keenly playful eyes.

“Oh I don’t know, their matching eye colour, the forbidden love… seems about right… It makes ya wonder if you kinda wanted the things in that book to happen?” Ben tease earned a more so red and utterly mortified expression from his cousin, oh what he wouldn’t give to frame that expression as a picture. “Like maybe something like this??” He said as he recalled the passionate kissing she had written into her story, that he assumed she hoped he didn’t read. One of these scenes entailing the knight cradling just below the witch’s head, before with the other hand trailing up her body; Over her abdomen, her stomach and her breasts before laying a passionate kiss on her lips. Trying out this technique however bore only so much fruit, the prosperous being the wonderful sounds she made that drove his mind into a frenzy. However the less than prosperous was when Gwen came to her senses and proceeded to grab the nearest pillow and like déjà vu whack him with it.

Ben had no regrets.

* * *

Gwen didn’t like to think of herself as somebody prone to nosiness, but she was also fully aware of how nosy she was willing to be if she thought she wouldn’t get caught. While sitting on the Livingroom couch with Ben watching a movie(The Secrets of the Sumo, what else?)—this was after their intense pillow fight, at some point during the movie, the subtle sound of his breathy snoring entered her ears. It wasn’t particularly annoying to listen to, in fact she had gotten rather used to the way it sounded over the drive down to Space camp; It was soft, rhythmic, and every once in a while he’d make a goofy face and muttered some sort of incoherent sentence to himself. It was due to her amusement she didn’t feel inclined to be disappointed when he drifted off into slumber. On the contrary, she saw it as a excellent opportunity to make herself acquainted with his room once again. It had been years since she had last stepped into his room, after what happened at camp if they were to ever hang out he would always insist it be at her house—Or the very least downstairs, away from his room. Feeling the urge to get back at him, Gwen gave into her ~~nosy~~ curious tendencies and scaled up the stairs to his room. As soundlessly as humanly possible, naturally.

Unsurprisingly, it was the same dingy green it had been eight years, and just the same it was covered in fandom-related posters, figurines, and planes hanging from the ceiling. In contrasts to eight years ago, it was decently clean, only littered with articles of clothing here and there. She’d compliment him for his improvement if it wasn’t for the fact he wasn’t supposed to know she invaded his privacy. Among other things, what caught Gwen’s eye the most was picture frame on his desk. It contained the very same photo as hers did of the space camp trip, only it was cut so that only he, Gwen and Grandpa Max were in the shot. She smiled to herself at Ben’s oddly sweet gesture, she then moved on to looking through his book case. Mostly all manga and comic books, and a ridiculous amount of Lego-set directions. None of which were of note, though she was impressed to find obscurer manga on his shelf; It wasn’t until she came across a small vermillion book that she took pause. It wasn’t like all the other books on his shelf, it had no title printed on it and its edges were worn away and aged. It seemed unthinkable to Gwen that her dopy cousin would ever keep an diary, but then again, he was the same sentimental boy who would rattle of poetry just to make her smile. Giving into curiosity, she opened the book only to gasp. Written at the top of every page was a date, and along the lined paper a familiar hand writing style detailed every day of their summer in great detail. It didn’t require an outright explanation to recognize the written voice of the author of said journal.

> August 20th 2008
> 
> I’m torn, it seems as though the worries I refused to humor have come to volition. I thought it was just the paranoia that came with old age, but it seems as though I was right to have worried. My grandchildren, those whom I love very much, have indeed formed feelings for each other that could only be defined as ‘romantic’. I always knew if they only gave the other the chance, they would be better friends than any—A friendship that would surely last a lifetime, undoubtably. However, somehow they’ve taken that a step farther than I had hoped. It seemed as though they had been fighting for a great portion of their camp experience, and if I had been their team’s counselor I would have stepped in. But I thought it would have been better if I let the two grow up and sort out their differences for themselves… I never would have imagined it would end this way. When I found them together it was during a dinner period and they were absent, according to Gwen’s little boy friend she was fighting with Ben again in the dormitory. I was only going to break up the fight for good that summer, and give them some sort of little punishment; It wasn’t supposed to be the exact opposite of what I expected. What’s worse in all this chaos is that they seem to genuinely have feelings for each other, feelings that stemmed back farther than I was aware of. They’ve been trying to convince me not to tell their parents, it seems as though they know what they would do if they knew. I want more than anything to make them happy, but a relationship like that would herald far too many burdens for children for their age; It seems as though the only reasonable course of action to take is to separate them until they are old enough to decide for themselves if their feelings were on a whim or not… They both keep giving me such sad, sad eyes I feel terrible. But as an adult, and their grandfather, I have to be the bad-guy in order to do the right thing. They’ll understand one day, but for the time being they are packing to leave as I write this. I won’t tell their parents until we are face to face, for their sake, however I’ve let them know they have major things to discuss when we arrive back in Bellwood… I only hope Ben and Gwen can find it in their hearts to forgive me one day.
> 
> Signed, Maxwell Tennyson.

That was the last entry in the journal the spanned all the way back to the beginning of their summer. Gwen only had vague memories of seeing him writing ever so often, she hadn’t put it together at the time it was making entries in a diary. She felt sick at the thought of what might have happened if her parents had seen it, as well as her struggling with the weight of regret placed back onto her shoulders. She loved her grandfather so much, her heart ached as she came to realize what sort of guilt he too felt, and how he died so early on, before she could even apologize for all the things she had said in hopes of persuading him not to take them home. She knew all too well the consequences of her feelings at that point, but now that she had taken a second bite of the forbidden fruit she knew there was no going back for her; And she didn’t want to, if that had been what they had fought Grandpa Max until the end about, it would be what she’d fight everyone else to the end about as well.

As one hand reach over her to close the book that began to soak up Gwen’s raining of tears, another came hesitantly around her waist to be pulled closer to the owner of the room she had breached the privacy of. “I snatched it from his bags before the police hauled them away… I was too afraid of people finding out..” Ben whispered into her ear, his warm breath sending electrisity gushing through her. “I can’t bring myself to completely get rid of though…” The boy nuzzled his face into the back of her neck as he said this. She could feel warm tears run down her back from his eyes.

Gwen turned around in his arms to embrace him better, calmly rubbing his back while stroking his chestnut brown hair at the same time. “… I understand…” Her words only seemed to make him sadder however as he only tightened his grip around her, nuzzling his face farther into her neck—His eyelashes causing sheepish giggles to erupt from Gwen. She felt Ben grin against her in reaction to her laughter, motivated by this he continued to follow up and down the curves of her neck and collar bone, peppering playful nips and kisses as he did this. Each more pleasurable than the last, the longer it went on the less playful it was, but purposeful and longingly. Gwen couldn’t help but wonder how long they had been waiting to be this close again, and how long she waited to feel safe and warm in his arms once again. It only reminded her how much she yearned to be covered from head toe in his loving kisses, and how much she missed the feeling of his palm against her cheek as he tenderly guided her into ecstasy.

“Hey, we should get married.” Ben said breathlessly between smearing rough kisses against her lips,

“What? We’re only eighteen!” Gwen placed a hand on Ben’s shoulder to halt his advances, she could feel his racing heart against his chest. Staring wide eyed at his scarlet, aroused expression—His gaze drew half-lidded as he smiled warmly,

“Yeah, I know. I didn’t mean now, I just,” Ben began as Gwen’s grip keeping him back began to loosen. “I don’t want to go back to being just cousins.” With Gwen’s arm no longer holding him back, it required very little effort for Ben to pin her against the wall beneath him. He held himself back from kissing her further, however the desire was heavily apparent in his eyes, if it were not for his bold statement Gwen would have applied herself to that desire. It was in the way he cornered her, and stared so seriously at her that she could interpret every emotion that was running through his mind, it was as though he was afraid somehow their moment would just disappear suddenly if he let her escape his vision for even a moment.

Gently, she placed her hands on either side of his face, drawing his head lower to hers until his knees touched the ground beside hers, and their foreheads were resting on one another. “I don’t want to go back to being just cousins either, Ben. I don’t  want to go back to dating other people, I want to stay like this too… But I think…” Her once closed eyes opened, their mirrored eyes gazing into the others’. “I think since we’re eighteen now, like Grandpa Max said in his diary we can decide for ourselves now. And I think that means we should tell our parents..” Gwen said this in a voice so low it was almost impossible to hear, if it weren’t for Ben being so close already to her. Taking in each word from her lips, Ben sighed, tucking her head under his chin as he pulled her into a hug.

“I guess we’re technically old enough to make our own decisions… but, what if they don’t accept it?” Ben pondered out loud, his dear cousin returning the embrace,

“If we want to one day get married, and have kids, and even grow old together, I’d think a step towards that would be to stop sneaking around… I’ve spent so long afraid of anyone knowing, afraid of allowing myself to ever accept the burning feelings I have for you. I’m not going to hide anymore, like you said,” Gwen paused to pull away and gaze deeply into the eyes of the young man she loved above all, at this point it seemed so utterly silly to think she could ever force herself into marrying anyone else. “I love you, and I want to love you. I always have, and I always will. While a part of me is scared of our parents not accepting us, the idea of us not being together scares me even more; I want to be able to proudly say you’re my boyfriend, Ben. I want to be able to tell our future children that we might be cousins, but we love each other. I don’t want to hide anymore, I’ve done it for so long already that the wounds its caused will take time to heal, though I don’t think it’ll be all that long if you’re there by my side.” Ben didn’t reply, at the very least not with words. He responded to all her feelings through a long and chaste kiss, it was oh so familiar to their first; Excluding the awkward teeth bashing, of course. “I love you.” Gwen hummed a second time as she laid her head down onto his chest, Ben wrapped an arm around her, kissing the crown of her head.

“I love you too.” Ben replied back, together they sat alone in his room, still sitting against the wall in wait for his parents to return home from their weekly date night. Gwen as well texted her parents to come over as well, they naturally questioned her motives, but she gave them no other answer than it being related to something direly important. It seemed to them as though time just dragged on for ages without an ending in sight, Gwen could feel herself begin to shake, but thankfully when Ben held her hand in his, the shaking seemed to finally come to an end. It wasn’t until they heard the door on the lower floor open that either of the two Tennyson cousins made any move, below they could hear their parents interacting, inquiring of the other whether or not they knew the subject of discussion, and hypothesized together what it was. With Grandpa Max’s diary in hand, and Ben’s in the other, the two scaled down the stairs to meet them, along with their perplexed expressions.

“Hey, Dad, mom. Uncle Frank, Aunt Lily… We’ve kinda got something we need to talk about.” Ben informed them properly, to both their dismay, their hands separated as they reached the front door where their parents stood patiently. Completely unaware of what was about to be take place, nor of what was to be revealed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun dun... coming out to their parents. Yeah, that's always fun, haha. There's only one chapter left after this, that I plan posting on the morrow so look forward to that! I look forward to hearing what you guys think! I don't know if I plan to write another thing after this, dunno, I've got some stuff going on, but whatever. Tell me guys your thoughts, do you like my AUs? Do you like the poetic format? Do you want more stories with stupid amounts of foreshadowing? If I write something else it undoubtedly will, I'm a whore for emotional shit with heavy build up. Anywho, later!

**Author's Note:**

> So there you have it, my first chapter. Yes it is technically a love square(Kevin x Gwen x Ben x Julie), but I swear if you read between the lines you'll see I quite clearly state the end goal I have in mind. Keep an open mind, I swear the amount of foreshadowing I say I put in there, I did. READ THE TITLE! IT PRACTICALLY SAYS IT. Sorry, I just wanted to make sure I made that much clear. :) I love you all and look forward to reading your reviews, I'm also posting this on AO3, and Wattpad so yeah, whever you've reading this from, heyyyyyy! Random Note: Ace = Asexual(It's slang so I wasn't sure if that much was apparent)


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